Rachel Casey (00:00:05):
and i am rachel and with us we have you and i love love more to come
Colin Casey (00:00:27):
How did you find yourself in Substack or get introduced to Substack?
Tey Moore (00:00:32):
Well, one of my friends, she cooks a lot and she started posting her Substack.
Tey Moore (00:00:37):
I was like, why don't I just hop on Substack and work on my right?
Rachel Casey (00:00:42):
I was interested to see if maybe it was because you were already doing a
Rachel Casey (00:00:48):
publication because I know a lot of people are switching.
Rachel Casey (00:00:50):
I'm new to the newsletter world.
Tey Moore (00:00:53):
Me too.
Tey Moore (00:00:53):
I was trying to find a newsletter, how to break down my book.
Tey Moore (00:00:58):
But then I found Substack and I started breaking my book down on that.
(00:01:03):
Yeah.
Tey Moore (00:01:04):
I just started throwing like random things in there.
Colin Casey (00:01:08):
So you just, in Substack, you just started using it to inform people more about your book?
Colin Casey (00:01:13):
Yeah.
Colin Casey (00:01:14):
So which book were you doing that with?
Colin Casey (00:01:16):
Because I know you have a few out.
Tey Moore (00:01:17):
My most recent book, More to Come.
Rachel Casey (00:01:21):
Did I read or hear that you didn't like your first book?
Tey Moore (00:01:24):
I didn't like my third book.
Rachel Casey (00:01:26):
I feel like it's cool to just publish anything.
Rachel Casey (00:01:28):
I want to publish a book.
Rachel Casey (00:01:31):
I just haven't.
Tey Moore (00:01:32):
See, I have years ago.
Tey Moore (00:01:34):
Because I published my first book and then I published my second book.
Tey Moore (00:01:39):
My third one came after my accident.
Tey Moore (00:01:42):
I didn't like that as much.
Tey Moore (00:01:44):
I feel like I forced that one.
Tey Moore (00:01:47):
It's got to flow.
Rachel Casey (00:01:50):
And I think with being sober, I'm a lot more in touch with being authentic.
Tey Moore (00:01:55):
More to come with my first sober book ever.
Rachel Casey (00:01:58):
That had to have felt good.
Tey Moore (00:02:00):
It felt amazing.
Rachel Casey (00:02:01):
Because I've looked at my notes, like from the past and whatnot, from before being sober.
Rachel Casey (00:02:08):
And a lot of it's very sad, like very dark.
Rachel Casey (00:02:13):
And I used to like argue that alcohol is not a depressant because I'm like,
Rachel Casey (00:02:17):
well,
Rachel Casey (00:02:17):
I get wired,
Rachel Casey (00:02:18):
you know,
Rachel Casey (00:02:20):
stepping back from it.
Rachel Casey (00:02:21):
I can see how sad it was making me when I go back and read some of the stuff I've journaled or
Rachel Casey (00:02:27):
wrote in my phone right now you knew yeah because you live with me but you know i
Rachel Casey (00:02:33):
would have argued with you that like no that's not how it is but yeah but you had a
Rachel Casey (00:02:42):
big positive spin on all of your books have been very like motivational uplifting
Rachel Casey (00:02:47):
very positive like hope really yeah
Tey Moore (00:02:54):
But I just realized when I was writing my first one,
Tey Moore (00:02:58):
I would write a chapter,
Tey Moore (00:03:00):
and then I would ruin myself with liquor.
Tey Moore (00:03:02):
It's so backwards.
Rachel Casey (00:03:05):
Yeah, yeah.
Colin Casey (00:03:07):
Once you take that out, you just do everything for yourself.
Rachel Casey (00:03:11):
Yeah.
Colin Casey (00:03:11):
So when you were, you said this last book was the first one you wrote sober, right?
Colin Casey (00:03:17):
So what did you find, what did you do to reward yourself after a hard chapter or at the end?
Colin Casey (00:03:23):
And while you were writing it, was your work ethic just better?
Colin Casey (00:03:27):
Were you amazed of how just more efficient you were?
Tey Moore (00:03:31):
More efficient.
Tey Moore (00:03:33):
I wouldn't reward myself like,
Tey Moore (00:03:37):
like, with drinks or anything, I would just sit back and read it back to myself.
Tey Moore (00:03:42):
It was so much clearer.
Rachel Casey (00:03:45):
Oh, that's awesome.
Rachel Casey (00:03:46):
Yeah,
Rachel Casey (00:03:46):
because there is nothing worse than,
Rachel Casey (00:03:48):
like,
Rachel Casey (00:03:48):
having a project and,
Rachel Casey (00:03:50):
like,
Rachel Casey (00:03:50):
you wake up the next day and you're like,
Rachel Casey (00:03:52):
oh,
Rachel Casey (00:03:53):
wow.
Rachel Casey (00:03:54):
You're like, that's some...
Rachel Casey (00:03:58):
a lot of autocorrect couldn't get that yeah you're doing a lot more editing if you
Rachel Casey (00:04:03):
were drinking a lot more you could tell if i was drinking then you would just write
Tey Moore (00:04:08):
something to finish it because you wanted to make it to happy hour yeah i mean yeah
Rachel Casey (00:04:17):
i by the end i would we were drinking at home and it was covid and um
Rachel Casey (00:04:23):
I mean, it was bad.
Rachel Casey (00:04:25):
It was dark.
Rachel Casey (00:04:26):
It was a dark time again.
Colin Casey (00:04:28):
I was just like counting down as soon as the it got to like two o'clock.
Colin Casey (00:04:32):
It was like,
Colin Casey (00:04:32):
all right,
Colin Casey (00:04:33):
just a couple more hours or what excuse can I make up to get out of here to run to
Colin Casey (00:04:37):
the liquor store and run home?
Colin Casey (00:04:40):
And I mean, it was just any little thing.
Rachel Casey (00:04:43):
Yeah.
Colin Casey (00:04:44):
As an excuse to just get out of work early or.
Tey Moore (00:04:47):
Congratulate yourself.
Colin Casey (00:04:50):
Yeah, exactly.
Colin Casey (00:04:52):
Just really... And it was just the smallest victories, too.
Colin Casey (00:04:56):
It's like, well, I got through it Tuesday.
Rachel Casey (00:04:59):
And then we would get...
Rachel Casey (00:05:01):
in fights because he would stop he's like i'm just gonna stop for a shot on like
Rachel Casey (00:05:05):
because he works in downtown and i'd be home with the baby with evan when he was
Rachel Casey (00:05:10):
baby all day and i'm like no it's my turn to drink and then i would start anger
Rachel Casey (00:05:15):
drinking and then he'd come home and i'm like already sloppy and you know because i
Rachel Casey (00:05:21):
would go man i got angry i was
Rachel Casey (00:05:25):
Again,
Rachel Casey (00:05:26):
although,
Rachel Casey (00:05:26):
like,
Rachel Casey (00:05:26):
if you looked at my Instagram,
Rachel Casey (00:05:27):
you wouldn't have think of me as an angry person.
Rachel Casey (00:05:29):
But I just, I don't know.
Rachel Casey (00:05:33):
I got mean and vicious because, like, I just wasn't happy with myself, but I projected a lot.
Rachel Casey (00:05:38):
A lot in my drinking was what I'd wished I could do.
Rachel Casey (00:05:42):
How did...
Rachel Casey (00:05:44):
did you go through AA?
Rachel Casey (00:05:47):
Did you go through just working with someone or how did you?
Rachel Casey (00:05:53):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:05:55):
And again,
Rachel Casey (00:05:55):
like we say every time,
Rachel Casey (00:05:56):
like we're not a representation of AA,
Rachel Casey (00:05:58):
but we also got sober through AA.
Colin Casey (00:06:01):
Was there a specific event or reason that you want to share on what made you decide to quit?
Tey Moore (00:06:09):
Yeah, I was getting, I was,
Tey Moore (00:06:13):
After an accident, I was holding a lot.
Tey Moore (00:06:15):
I was like, I was the brunch man.
Tey Moore (00:06:17):
So I would go anywhere to brunch.
Tey Moore (00:06:21):
And I was like, it can't be brunch.
Tey Moore (00:06:24):
It doesn't have bottomless mimosas.
Rachel Casey (00:06:29):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:06:29):
And I remember being in the service industry,
Rachel Casey (00:06:32):
there came a point where I started shaking if I didn't have a drink.
Rachel Casey (00:06:35):
And so I would stink like a shot or even on brunch shifts, I was...
Rachel Casey (00:06:41):
for sure getting most like there was no doubt and because i would shake and so then
Rachel Casey (00:06:47):
it's like i have to drink to be normal to be and that was an alarming you know but
Tey Moore (00:06:54):
i was i was a bartender too so i understand everything going through
Rachel Casey (00:06:59):
That was on my amends list, too, was that alcohol.
Rachel Casey (00:07:04):
Like, technically, I stole it.
Rachel Casey (00:07:06):
Because,
Rachel Casey (00:07:07):
you know,
Rachel Casey (00:07:07):
we,
Rachel Casey (00:07:08):
as like a bartender,
Rachel Casey (00:07:09):
server,
Rachel Casey (00:07:10):
whatever,
Rachel Casey (00:07:10):
I don't know why I felt so entitled.
Rachel Casey (00:07:13):
You know, it's like, oh, I just, like...
Rachel Casey (00:07:17):
I didn't deserve the the owners paid for that bottle like I understand they're
Rachel Casey (00:07:21):
making money but they're also paying the rent and um there was I did feel badly
Rachel Casey (00:07:28):
because when you think about like the moral inventory of yeah that probably wasn't
Rachel Casey (00:07:33):
very nice would I like if someone did that to my restaurant no and
Tey Moore (00:07:39):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:07:44):
It's well,
Rachel Casey (00:07:45):
we've talked about amends is it's,
Rachel Casey (00:07:48):
it's for me,
Rachel Casey (00:07:49):
you know,
Rachel Casey (00:07:50):
like I don't want to feel badly for it.
Rachel Casey (00:07:53):
And so like acknowledging it, saying it's there.
Rachel Casey (00:07:57):
And then like, I can be sincere or I practice until I'm sincere.
Rachel Casey (00:08:03):
And then I kind of let it go.
Rachel Casey (00:08:05):
And yeah,
Rachel Casey (00:08:08):
the burden is me caring.
Rachel Casey (00:08:09):
They don't, they probably don't care, but I care.
Tey Moore (00:08:11):
Okay.
Rachel Casey (00:08:14):
Well, maybe they care.
Rachel Casey (00:08:15):
I don't know.
Rachel Casey (00:08:16):
It's cool to see all these people kind of getting towards sobriety.
Rachel Casey (00:08:19):
It's nice.
Tey Moore (00:08:19):
Right.
Tey Moore (00:08:20):
Exactly.
Colin Casey (00:08:22):
Yeah.
Colin Casey (00:08:22):
And I also been enjoying just kind of the,
Colin Casey (00:08:26):
the movement that now the younger generation is going to have addictions elsewhere
Colin Casey (00:08:32):
to deal with.
Colin Casey (00:08:32):
I feel like whether it's gambling or, um, marijuana or the weed,
Colin Casey (00:08:38):
the weed i feel really old god damn but i feel like there's a big push for some of
Colin Casey (00:08:47):
those things where a lot of the new generation younger generation isn't that
Colin Casey (00:08:52):
interested in drinking um and i find that to be interesting and really cool but it
Colin Casey (00:08:57):
also worries some of what other trap are they gonna fall into that you know in 20
Colin Casey (00:09:02):
years what's
Colin Casey (00:09:04):
their rehab situation going to be like because i could see gambling being a real
Colin Casey (00:09:09):
big thing i don't know if that's legal in atlanta but i know texas they're pushing
Colin Casey (00:09:14):
hard to get casinos and sports gambling here what is your sobriety date again my
Tey Moore (00:09:20):
sobriety day is august 16th 2022
Rachel Casey (00:09:25):
Awesome.
Rachel Casey (00:09:26):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:09:28):
And then we're November 22, 21.
Rachel Casey (00:09:30):
Okay.
Rachel Casey (00:09:31):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:09:33):
And man, so what was that day like for you?
Rachel Casey (00:09:37):
Was it random?
Tey Moore (00:09:40):
Nah,
Tey Moore (00:09:41):
because I actually called one of my close friends that actually goes to A.
Tey Moore (00:09:47):
He went to A and became sober.
Tey Moore (00:09:50):
And when he first became sober, I was just like, how did he become sober?
Tey Moore (00:09:54):
Yeah.
Tey Moore (00:09:55):
Because we went to college together,
Tey Moore (00:09:57):
and we used to call,
Tey Moore (00:09:59):
we used to say,
Tey Moore (00:10:00):
no taste buds when we drank,
Tey Moore (00:10:02):
because when you drank,
Tey Moore (00:10:03):
you didn't have no taste buds.
Tey Moore (00:10:05):
You can do whatever you wanted.
Rachel Casey (00:10:07):
Bottomly, yeah.
Tey Moore (00:10:08):
Right.
Tey Moore (00:10:09):
So we used to call, no taste buds.
Tey Moore (00:10:12):
And then I seen it, he became sober.
Tey Moore (00:10:14):
He's living a way better life.
Tey Moore (00:10:17):
He's happy, and he can be around liquor without even thinking about it twice.
Rachel Casey (00:10:22):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:10:22):
Yeah.
Tey Moore (00:10:24):
when I felt like I had my rock bottom,
Tey Moore (00:10:27):
because my mom,
Tey Moore (00:10:28):
she had told me,
Tey Moore (00:10:29):
like,
Tey Moore (00:10:30):
I want you to be sober.
Tey Moore (00:10:32):
I want you drinking all the time.
Tey Moore (00:10:34):
Because she used to see how anger I would get when I didn't have no liquor.
Tey Moore (00:10:40):
So I called him up.
Tey Moore (00:10:42):
I was like, hey, hey, what's A?
Tey Moore (00:10:46):
How did I get into it?
Tey Moore (00:10:49):
He gave me the app, the meeting app.
Tey Moore (00:10:53):
he's like trying to meet near you and go in there so that's what i did i looked it
Tey Moore (00:10:59):
up and i seen they had a meeting on thursday on wednesday so i went it was like the
Colin Casey (00:11:05):
scariest thing yeah that's how i felt yeah she had her named fake name picked out
Rachel Casey (00:11:13):
and everything sat in the back corner
Colin Casey (00:11:16):
right yeah my name was gonna be cinderella i still remember the there's a guy in
Colin Casey (00:11:21):
there that goes there and i remember the first thing he just like looked at us and
Colin Casey (00:11:26):
said hey you guys are new what's your name and just so energetic and full of energy
Colin Casey (00:11:30):
i love him so much and i was just at the time i'm like who is this guy and why is
Colin Casey (00:11:34):
he so happy and like you're just trying to sneak in into this place and then
Colin Casey (00:11:40):
I sat him back too.
Colin Casey (00:11:42):
Yeah, and I'm getting called out, and then on day two, he's like, hey, you're back.
Rachel Casey (00:11:47):
We remembered our names and everything,
Rachel Casey (00:11:49):
and we had,
Rachel Casey (00:11:50):
you know,
Rachel Casey (00:11:50):
it was,
Rachel Casey (00:11:51):
life was pretty blurry,
Rachel Casey (00:11:53):
pretty scary.
Rachel Casey (00:11:56):
We didn't know yet.
Rachel Casey (00:11:57):
You know, we were just like, we were told we took the desire chip.
Rachel Casey (00:12:02):
And that was scary too.
Rachel Casey (00:12:04):
And I don't know that I really understood, but it was that, it was Teddy at the end, you know,
Rachel Casey (00:12:11):
want to want to take you know like i'm like i guess yeah like it seems to be the
Colin Casey (00:12:18):
thing to do people are nudging us to take it and you just because in the beginning
Tey Moore (00:12:21):
i don't know how y'all made this all run but mine in the beginning they're like
Tey Moore (00:12:27):
with the chip shake and then like anybody's want to start a new life we could have
Tey Moore (00:12:33):
a white chip i was like looking around like showers my hand
Rachel Casey (00:12:40):
yeah it's scary it's a lot like i still yeah and then i saw on instagram i guess
Rachel Casey (00:12:47):
because everyone looks at you and you're like yeah you're like sitting here like
Rachel Casey (00:12:51):
sweat i was sweating shaking and you know like the booze sweating out i was so
Rachel Casey (00:12:57):
scared
Colin Casey (00:12:58):
But I saw you out on Instagram.
Colin Casey (00:13:00):
You said on, I guess someone recorded your first year.
Colin Casey (00:13:04):
I didn't know there'd be birthday cake.
Colin Casey (00:13:06):
And you're excited.
Colin Casey (00:13:08):
I'm so happy.
Colin Casey (00:13:10):
And then you said for year two, you wanted ice cream cake.
Colin Casey (00:13:12):
So I was wondering if you do it with ice cream cake now.
Colin Casey (00:13:15):
I never got it.
Rachel Casey (00:13:17):
Yeah, they didn't have cake at our birthday night either.
Colin Casey (00:13:19):
Yeah, our last one we didn't get cake.
Rachel Casey (00:13:21):
And Evan was very upset.
Colin Casey (00:13:22):
Yeah, our son was bummed out because that's what he looks forward to at birthday night as well.
Rachel Casey (00:13:27):
I wasn't able to go.
Rachel Casey (00:13:28):
I had no voice and I was sick.
Rachel Casey (00:13:30):
Like, I mean...
Rachel Casey (00:13:33):
I'm still recovering from that.
Rachel Casey (00:13:35):
I don't know.
Rachel Casey (00:13:37):
It's fun.
Rachel Casey (00:13:38):
It's fun.
Rachel Casey (00:13:38):
But we're getting through it.
Rachel Casey (00:13:41):
We're one day at a time.
Rachel Casey (00:13:42):
The steps help me live life.
Colin Casey (00:13:46):
And that's another thing that I've really found with AA.
Colin Casey (00:13:50):
And I don't know how you first thought of it.
Colin Casey (00:13:53):
Because like you said, we kind of go into this program unaware of what it actually is like.
Colin Casey (00:13:59):
And I thought it was a program to help me stop drinking,
Colin Casey (00:14:02):
not realizing it's kind of like this blueprint to help you live life.
Colin Casey (00:14:07):
And it was something I never had because I always felt a little self-conscious or a
Colin Casey (00:14:12):
little scared to like just go out in the world and try in case I failed.
Colin Casey (00:14:18):
And this just said, don't think long term like that.
Colin Casey (00:14:22):
Just one day at a time.
Colin Casey (00:14:24):
Just one step at a time.
Colin Casey (00:14:26):
Mm hmm.
Rachel Casey (00:14:28):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:14:29):
I mean, um, it was, yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:14:33):
And I got a sponsor like right at,
Rachel Casey (00:14:37):
uh,
Rachel Casey (00:14:38):
I think it was two weeks and it was that guy who was so happy and chaired.
Rachel Casey (00:14:42):
I remember like pulling him to the side after the meeting and I was like,
Rachel Casey (00:14:46):
so like,
Rachel Casey (00:14:48):
how do you even get a sponsor?
Rachel Casey (00:14:50):
And he's like, just go ask someone.
Rachel Casey (00:14:51):
I was like, go ask someone.
Rachel Casey (00:14:53):
I was like, absolutely not.
Rachel Casey (00:14:55):
Like I am already like,
Rachel Casey (00:14:59):
again it wasn't um it hadn't uh i mean i went every single day and i pretty much
Rachel Casey (00:15:07):
just went meeting to meeting like it was meeting and i slept and i slept the sleep
Rachel Casey (00:15:13):
started getting great and um then i mean for anyone listening now that's like
Rachel Casey (00:15:21):
thinking about sobriety
Rachel Casey (00:15:24):
It takes, like, I don't know quite when the transformation changes.
Rachel Casey (00:15:30):
I've seen it in my sponsees.
Rachel Casey (00:15:32):
I've seen it where we come to meet and there's a new light in their eye.
Rachel Casey (00:15:37):
And it's just trusting the process.
Rachel Casey (00:15:42):
And it doesn't, it's actually what I, what have people said that
Rachel Casey (00:15:49):
the steps are easy we make it hard you know we make we we make it as difficult or
Rachel Casey (00:15:56):
as easy as we want it to be um i really didn't stutter other than i mean i did take
Rachel Casey (00:16:03):
two i did two weeks for my fourth step that was hard it was hard i carried it with
Rachel Casey (00:16:11):
me i wouldn't even leave it here with you i was like nope it came with me in my car
Rachel Casey (00:16:17):
Because that was another thing I really liked for my sponsor was she's like moral
Rachel Casey (00:16:23):
inventory is moral.
Rachel Casey (00:16:25):
That means the good and the bad.
Rachel Casey (00:16:27):
And so for every bad thing I wrote,
Rachel Casey (00:16:29):
I also countered it with either what I learned or something positive,
Rachel Casey (00:16:36):
whether that be like I can share it with another person or whatever.
Rachel Casey (00:16:41):
You know, I learned I don't want to do that again or whatever that be.
Rachel Casey (00:16:46):
And in my big book, I have moral means the good and the bad.
Tey Moore (00:16:53):
I thought it was so funny when I got my sponsor because there's like, get a sponsor.
Tey Moore (00:17:01):
So the first thing I was like, I looked at someone, I was like, hey, you want my sponsor?
Tey Moore (00:17:06):
He's like, yep, just call me.
(00:17:10):
And that was it.
Tey Moore (00:17:11):
Right, right.
Tey Moore (00:17:12):
But then he, like, moved away, so then I had to get another sponsor.
Rachel Casey (00:17:19):
Yeah, it's...
Rachel Casey (00:17:21):
And also for, again, just, I don't know who, again, I don't really know who listens.
Rachel Casey (00:17:26):
If anyone,
Rachel Casey (00:17:27):
like if this hits home,
Rachel Casey (00:17:28):
but not,
Rachel Casey (00:17:30):
if you don't gel with your sponsor,
Rachel Casey (00:17:32):
like it's not a commitment.
Rachel Casey (00:17:34):
It's not a contract, whatever you've seen on TV.
Rachel Casey (00:17:37):
Like there are some episodes where even when we, um, we had just watched a clean and sober, um,
Rachel Casey (00:17:44):
is a movie from the 80s with Michael Keaton.
Rachel Casey (00:17:52):
And the sponsor drives him home from rehab and he's out there cleaning his house.
Rachel Casey (00:17:59):
And I mean, there are people that will do that.
Rachel Casey (00:18:02):
But also, it's not a babysitting thing.
Rachel Casey (00:18:06):
We're also not police.
Rachel Casey (00:18:07):
Or if you sponsor...
Rachel Casey (00:18:09):
It's the only thing that we can really do is suggest what we did or what someone else did.
Rachel Casey (00:18:15):
And they told us how to do it.
(00:18:16):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:18:18):
Like if you're,
Rachel Casey (00:18:19):
if you're craving a drink,
Rachel Casey (00:18:20):
you go to a meeting and it,
Rachel Casey (00:18:22):
or call another alcoholic.
Rachel Casey (00:18:24):
That's another big one.
Rachel Casey (00:18:25):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:18:26):
There's so many meetings online.
Rachel Casey (00:18:28):
Like, yeah, especially now I listened to podcasts for speaker meetings.
Rachel Casey (00:18:32):
Like that was how I listened to Joe and Charlie.
Colin Casey (00:18:35):
I know when I finally got my sponsor,
Colin Casey (00:18:39):
because I was very slow to the process and slow in getting a sponsor.
Colin Casey (00:18:44):
And when I reached out and asked him, hey, do you want to be my sponsor?
Colin Casey (00:18:48):
One of the first things he did was reach out and talk to his sponsor and said,
Colin Casey (00:18:54):
hey,
Colin Casey (00:18:56):
Colin asked me to be his sponsor.
Colin Casey (00:18:58):
And his sponsor told him like...
Colin Casey (00:19:01):
I've heard Rachel in the meetings.
Colin Casey (00:19:03):
Are you sure you want to be this guy's sponsor?
Colin Casey (00:19:08):
He's like, it could be a real, real big commitment.
Colin Casey (00:19:12):
And he's like, I think I can do it.
Colin Casey (00:19:14):
And so I'm glad he took me on.
Rachel Casey (00:19:16):
But another thing I learned, and it was hard.
Rachel Casey (00:19:19):
Like, I mean,
Rachel Casey (00:19:21):
one of the more difficult things in sobriety is I used to,
Rachel Casey (00:19:25):
again,
Rachel Casey (00:19:25):
before the steps before learning about myself is I would,
Rachel Casey (00:19:31):
Hey,
Rachel Casey (00:19:31):
have you found a sponsor yet?
Rachel Casey (00:19:33):
And it wasn't in a nice caring way.
Rachel Casey (00:19:35):
And I think I was in fear.
Rachel Casey (00:19:37):
I was in big fear.
Rachel Casey (00:19:39):
Like I didn't know what I would do if you came home with alcohol and, um,
Rachel Casey (00:19:45):
Everyone in the meeting scared me so much that like,
Rachel Casey (00:19:47):
if you didn't get a sponsor,
Rachel Casey (00:19:48):
like you were going to drink or you were going to be like this mean old person.
Tey Moore (00:19:51):
You gotta be, you gotta be humble to get a sponsor.
Rachel Casey (00:19:56):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:19:56):
Well, and he just wasn't ready.
Rachel Casey (00:19:58):
He like,
Rachel Casey (00:19:58):
he was still,
Rachel Casey (00:20:00):
he had his own process and I was told by my sponsor,
Rachel Casey (00:20:05):
his sobriety is none of my business.
Rachel Casey (00:20:08):
it my sobriety is my business and um you know so she told me focus on you like it
Rachel Casey (00:20:16):
doesn't matter what he's doing you shouldn't be asking because what is it how does
Rachel Casey (00:20:22):
it affect you if it's not happening if i'm thinking it's gonna happen that's future
Rachel Casey (00:20:27):
tripping you know but it's hard it was hard and the reason i said you gotta be
Tey Moore (00:20:36):
humble
Tey Moore (00:20:37):
Because you actually got to open up to this person.
Tey Moore (00:20:41):
Tell me some of the darkest things you ever would have thought of.
Tey Moore (00:20:45):
And I don't know how I do it, but my sponsor had read the Big Blue Book to me.
Tey Moore (00:20:53):
Because he was like, did you read the Big Blue Book?
Tey Moore (00:20:55):
I was like, yep.
Tey Moore (00:20:57):
But then he was like, you didn't read it.
Tey Moore (00:21:00):
But then I was like, no, I read it.
Tey Moore (00:21:01):
But when he read it with me, it was like a whole new life opened.
Tey Moore (00:21:07):
He's explaining to me every little sentence.
Tey Moore (00:21:10):
Maybe to be a man and another man reading to me is like, nah, I don't know about this.
Rachel Casey (00:21:18):
I know.
Rachel Casey (00:21:18):
I felt the same at first or meeting.
Rachel Casey (00:21:23):
And the main thing we talked about
Rachel Casey (00:21:26):
was just what, I don't remember what I said to be honest.
Rachel Casey (00:21:29):
Like I was like just scared and I will,
Rachel Casey (00:21:33):
the only thing I do remember like so specifically is she asked me if I was willing
Rachel Casey (00:21:38):
to do anything to get sober.
Rachel Casey (00:21:40):
And I was like, absolutely.
Rachel Casey (00:21:41):
Like I was like, I don't want to, I'm so tired of this life.
Rachel Casey (00:21:45):
Like I hate,
Rachel Casey (00:21:46):
I was,
Rachel Casey (00:21:47):
cause I was still,
Rachel Casey (00:21:49):
I like,
Rachel Casey (00:21:50):
I didn't understand how life was going to be without it.
Rachel Casey (00:21:53):
The first thing I'm like,
Rachel Casey (00:21:54):
how am I going to go to Evan's wedding?
Rachel Casey (00:21:56):
And he was two.
Rachel Casey (00:21:57):
And I'm like, I'm going to be the weird mom that doesn't drink.
(00:22:01):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:22:01):
Like, no.
Rachel Casey (00:22:04):
And I can't.
Rachel Casey (00:22:06):
And I'm like, why is that my first thought?
Rachel Casey (00:22:08):
Like, if I want to be at my son's wedding, I don't want to be drunk.
Rachel Casey (00:22:14):
Like,
Rachel Casey (00:22:15):
I don't,
Rachel Casey (00:22:15):
you know,
Rachel Casey (00:22:16):
and that's where the realization of like how the malady of the mind and the,
Rachel Casey (00:22:22):
the,
Rachel Casey (00:22:24):
Jay Walker really resonates with me.
Rachel Casey (00:22:26):
That's a very big topic of, you know, Jay Walker goes across the street, breaks his arm.
Rachel Casey (00:22:32):
That's not that bad.
Rachel Casey (00:22:32):
We'll do it differently and do it differently and do it differently.
Rachel Casey (00:22:35):
And like, I couldn't do it differently anymore.
Rachel Casey (00:22:39):
I was done.
Rachel Casey (00:22:40):
I was toast.
Colin Casey (00:22:43):
What,
Colin Casey (00:22:44):
uh,
Colin Casey (00:22:44):
for you,
Colin Casey (00:22:45):
what worked in the beginning when you were going through sobriety and then what,
Colin Casey (00:22:50):
how has that evolved to what you do now?
Colin Casey (00:22:52):
Oh,
Tey Moore (00:22:55):
i would say the biggest thing i heard was when that first meeting there's just like
Tey Moore (00:23:01):
just don't drink today that's yeah that's what right right and at first you think
Tey Moore (00:23:08):
it's such a big thing like don't drink today are you crazy but then once you wake
Tey Moore (00:23:14):
up and you're just like i can take over the world yeah
Rachel Casey (00:23:19):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:23:20):
And even if I didn't,
Rachel Casey (00:23:21):
which I'll be honest,
Rachel Casey (00:23:22):
I was,
Rachel Casey (00:23:23):
you know,
Rachel Casey (00:23:23):
with a toddler and sometimes mornings were hard.
Rachel Casey (00:23:28):
But I told myself having the commitment,
Rachel Casey (00:23:32):
and I think that is half of the reason for suggesting 90 and 90.
Rachel Casey (00:23:39):
If you are OCD like I am,
Rachel Casey (00:23:42):
don't get obsessed with it because then you're going backwards a little bit.
Rachel Casey (00:23:47):
But the point is that you wake up and you're like,
Rachel Casey (00:23:52):
okay, well, I'm going to the meeting tonight at five, six, et cetera.
Rachel Casey (00:23:57):
And you just make it till then.
Rachel Casey (00:23:59):
And then you go to the meeting, you feel good.
Rachel Casey (00:24:01):
You go to bed and you're like,
Rachel Casey (00:24:02):
okay,
Rachel Casey (00:24:03):
I'm going to wake up tomorrow and I'll choose,
Rachel Casey (00:24:07):
you know,
Rachel Casey (00:24:07):
and you just kind of practice it until.
Tey Moore (00:24:09):
In the beginning, I remember I used to go to the meetings at six.
Tey Moore (00:24:16):
I would just call my happy hour.
Rachel Casey (00:24:19):
Really?
Rachel Casey (00:24:19):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:24:21):
yeah my games with it well there was people and i don't know how it land i've been
Rachel Casey (00:24:31):
to so we've been to like vegas i've done what california we've done we did not do
Rachel Casey (00:24:37):
michigan um definitely not florida um
Tey Moore (00:24:43):
I did Florida.
Rachel Casey (00:24:44):
You have?
Rachel Casey (00:24:44):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:24:45):
And there's usually people there early and it's either someone with long-term
Rachel Casey (00:24:51):
sobriety or it's someone with like very little sobriety.
Rachel Casey (00:24:55):
And both are great because you're either learning or you're giving,
Rachel Casey (00:25:00):
sharing,
Rachel Casey (00:25:01):
carrying the message.
Rachel Casey (00:25:02):
You know, like there's, I've never been there and there's like no one to talk to.
Tey Moore (00:25:05):
Right.
Rachel Casey (00:25:09):
It might be weird, but.
Tey Moore (00:25:10):
I went to Florida last year
Tey Moore (00:25:13):
And my friend had died and I was like losing it.
Tey Moore (00:25:18):
So I called myself.
Tey Moore (00:25:19):
He's like, find a meeting.
Tey Moore (00:25:22):
It's anywhere near you.
Tey Moore (00:25:24):
And I was like, I don't think I can do it.
Tey Moore (00:25:26):
But once I entered that building, it was like a whole new light was shed on me.
Tey Moore (00:25:34):
Like they didn't just treat me like a stranger or anything.
Tey Moore (00:25:38):
They're like comforted me.
Tey Moore (00:25:40):
and spoke life into me.
Tey Moore (00:25:44):
Yeah, and that's how... I knew at that point, I was like, fuck it, I'm going to drink.
Colin Casey (00:25:51):
Mm-hmm.
Colin Casey (00:25:54):
Yeah,
Colin Casey (00:25:54):
that I really love about the AA is just everywhere you go,
Colin Casey (00:25:59):
it's like the same but different.
Rachel Casey (00:26:01):
And well, I say I have friends everywhere.
Colin Casey (00:26:03):
Yeah, exactly.
Colin Casey (00:26:03):
Because they all get it.
Colin Casey (00:26:05):
And the one thing I feel like that if you're in this program,
Colin Casey (00:26:10):
then you just immediately understand someone else's pain if they're struggling at
Colin Casey (00:26:16):
that moment.
Colin Casey (00:26:17):
And
Colin Casey (00:26:18):
they will drop whatever to support and help you.
Colin Casey (00:26:22):
And that's the real cool thing about the program.
(00:26:26):
Yeah, it's beautiful.
Tey Moore (00:26:27):
I just felt so out of place because,
Tey Moore (00:26:30):
you know,
Tey Moore (00:26:30):
when you read samples,
Tey Moore (00:26:33):
it says,
Tey Moore (00:26:34):
like,
Tey Moore (00:26:34):
smash,
Tey Moore (00:26:35):
and we smash the table at my AAB.
Tey Moore (00:26:38):
Really?
Tey Moore (00:26:40):
Yeah, we, like, smash.
Rachel Casey (00:26:42):
Man, do that here.
Tey Moore (00:26:43):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:26:44):
I've never heard that.
Tey Moore (00:26:45):
I did that in Florida.
Tey Moore (00:26:49):
It was like smash.
Tey Moore (00:26:50):
I was like smash.
Tey Moore (00:26:52):
And everybody just looked at me.
Tey Moore (00:26:54):
I was like, oh my bad.
Rachel Casey (00:26:56):
Oh yeah, because in Texas we say it works if you work it.
Rachel Casey (00:26:59):
And I remember they did not do that in Vegas.
Colin Casey (00:27:02):
That's right.
Colin Casey (00:27:04):
They did hold hands though, I think.
Colin Casey (00:27:05):
And usually it's serenity prayer.
Rachel Casey (00:27:09):
It's here in Texas.
Rachel Casey (00:27:11):
That was one of my other...
Rachel Casey (00:27:15):
this was my moment where I thought,
Rachel Casey (00:27:17):
um,
Rachel Casey (00:27:18):
I was on the,
Rachel Casey (00:27:19):
the Jim Carrey,
Rachel Casey (00:27:20):
the people,
Rachel Casey (00:27:21):
everyone's watching you.
Rachel Casey (00:27:22):
Like it's a big prank.
Rachel Casey (00:27:23):
Like Kutcher is we did not,
Rachel Casey (00:27:27):
you know,
Rachel Casey (00:27:27):
we've been together,
Rachel Casey (00:27:28):
uh,
Rachel Casey (00:27:30):
six years at the time and you don't go to church.
Rachel Casey (00:27:33):
And I didn't go to church.
Rachel Casey (00:27:34):
Like we were both on the same page on that.
Rachel Casey (00:27:36):
And at the end they say the Lord's prayer.
Rachel Casey (00:27:39):
And I'm like,
Rachel Casey (00:27:41):
I don't know it.
Rachel Casey (00:27:41):
And I'm like looking around to see if it's, and he's saying it.
Rachel Casey (00:27:46):
And I was like, you don't know prayer.
Rachel Casey (00:27:50):
And I was like, who is, what kind of prank is this?
Rachel Casey (00:27:54):
And I mean,
Rachel Casey (00:27:54):
I remember the whole time I'm frantic,
Rachel Casey (00:27:56):
like looking around,
Rachel Casey (00:27:57):
I'm like,
Rachel Casey (00:27:57):
okay,
Rachel Casey (00:27:57):
I see a serenity prayer and I see like steps and like traditions.
Rachel Casey (00:28:01):
I'm like, I see no Lord's prayer.
Colin Casey (00:28:03):
yeah and you're like how did you know I'm like what do you mean how did I know that
Rachel Casey (00:28:07):
I'm I was raised Jewish what what do you want me to do like of course I know that I
Rachel Casey (00:28:12):
didn't know the Lord's what yeah and then you're like yeah my hands all sweaty and
Rachel Casey (00:28:25):
clammy already I feel you talking I'm like when yeah this is not the Colin I know
Colin Casey (00:28:33):
that the yeah the colt grabbed me all of a sudden this was your plan all along
Rachel Casey (00:28:41):
you're like i'm gonna get her and i'm gonna all of a sudden like yeah i'm serious i
Rachel Casey (00:28:46):
was like is the tv crew gonna come out because this isn't real that was funny yeah
Colin Casey (00:28:51):
when you didn't read i was like oh yeah i thought he was looking somewhere so i
Rachel Casey (00:28:54):
kept like i'm like where is he looking yeah nope i knew that one growing up
Rachel Casey (00:29:03):
yeah i mean i also thought that because they had our the meeting in a like square
Rachel Casey (00:29:09):
and then they had chairs on the outside so they have like table and then there's
Rachel Casey (00:29:14):
chairs so we again back corner and um i thought the people at the like the table i
Rachel Casey (00:29:22):
thought those were like in charge
Colin Casey (00:29:25):
Oh yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:29:28):
Like, cause they had the book and like, that was just the chair person.
Rachel Casey (00:29:31):
But like, I was like, Oh, we should have sat on the other corner.
Rachel Casey (00:29:35):
Cause like, we're near the, like the guards.
Rachel Casey (00:29:36):
Like, I don't know what these people are.
Rachel Casey (00:29:39):
And I just was like, okay.
Rachel Casey (00:29:42):
And yeah.
Colin Casey (00:29:44):
Did you ever have,
Colin Casey (00:29:45):
like,
Colin Casey (00:29:45):
when you got so used to the group that you went to,
Colin Casey (00:29:50):
and then you went to a different group,
Colin Casey (00:29:52):
and it was,
Colin Casey (00:29:52):
like,
Colin Casey (00:29:52):
just organized a little differently,
Colin Casey (00:29:55):
like the layout?
Colin Casey (00:29:56):
And I was just like, we're doing it wrong here.
Colin Casey (00:29:58):
Uh-uh.
Colin Casey (00:29:59):
We're supposed to be in a circle, the tables.
Colin Casey (00:30:01):
When I went to Florida,
Tey Moore (00:30:04):
the little preamps,
Tey Moore (00:30:05):
they actually,
Tey Moore (00:30:06):
like,
Tey Moore (00:30:06):
handed them out to,
Tey Moore (00:30:07):
like,
Tey Moore (00:30:07):
certain people before the meeting.
Tey Moore (00:30:09):
Okay.
Tey Moore (00:30:11):
You come in, you grab one and you read it.
Tey Moore (00:30:16):
Sometimes I was like, oh, okay.
Tey Moore (00:30:21):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:30:22):
And I will,
Rachel Casey (00:30:24):
as you spoke about,
Rachel Casey (00:30:26):
I also went line by line with my sponsor and I thought it was the weirdest thing
Rachel Casey (00:30:31):
because we would meet weekly and I'm kind of like,
Rachel Casey (00:30:37):
okay,
Rachel Casey (00:30:37):
like
Rachel Casey (00:30:39):
when's the magic gonna happen you know like and um she's like no just you know this
Rachel Casey (00:30:47):
is this way and she did have a few worksheets um but i sucked at reading because i
Rachel Casey (00:30:53):
didn't i was drinking so much like i hadn't read books i didn't read books at night
Rachel Casey (00:30:59):
and it was kind of embarrassing because we would take turns and i'm just like
Rachel Casey (00:31:05):
So we're just going to read to each other.
Rachel Casey (00:31:06):
And I'm like, we're not doing this whole book, are we?
Colin Casey (00:31:12):
Right, right.
Rachel Casey (00:31:14):
Not only did we do that book, we also did the 12 and 12.
Rachel Casey (00:31:16):
We also did Drop the Rock.
Rachel Casey (00:31:18):
But it did feel very weird at first.
Rachel Casey (00:31:20):
I remember being like...
Rachel Casey (00:31:22):
like in going back to grade school it's like okay so like is it paragraph paragraph
Rachel Casey (00:31:27):
or like she did paragraph and i'm like now what are we doing popcorn and then she
Rachel Casey (00:31:32):
then she got like so what did you think about that and i'm like i was focusing on
Tey Moore (00:31:36):
my next line my mama asked like do you know what that word means he uses ridiculous
Tey Moore (00:31:45):
words i'm like nah he'd be like go get that book it's like dictionary
Rachel Casey (00:31:52):
They also have one for AA too.
Rachel Casey (00:31:54):
It's like a big... Bill uses interesting words.
Rachel Casey (00:32:00):
Again, I like to remind everyone this 1920s, he was in the stock market crash.
Rachel Casey (00:32:07):
This was...
Rachel Casey (00:32:10):
They also, like, they don't talk about women getting sober.
Rachel Casey (00:32:13):
Not only that,
Rachel Casey (00:32:14):
I mean,
Rachel Casey (00:32:14):
I don't truly appreciate the chapter for the wives because they have the four
Rachel Casey (00:32:20):
different kinds of women and wives of Susan.
Rachel Casey (00:32:25):
And I can't even remember.
Rachel Casey (00:32:28):
I actually got very, I, that was the one chapter I got mad at.
(00:32:32):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:32:33):
And I was like, you know, but again, I'm not mad because that was the times.
Rachel Casey (00:32:40):
Like, that's how life was.
Rachel Casey (00:32:42):
You have to share with what is happening now.
Rachel Casey (00:32:46):
Otherwise, it's not relatable.
Tey Moore (00:32:50):
How would an updated book look?
Rachel Casey (00:32:55):
That was actually one of the things that made me kind of upset, to be honest.
Rachel Casey (00:33:00):
And I think it...
Rachel Casey (00:33:02):
again, comes back to ego and personal, but I was on group conscious.
Rachel Casey (00:33:08):
I was told not to go until I was one year sober.
Rachel Casey (00:33:12):
And I was very excited to be of service.
Rachel Casey (00:33:16):
I was excited to like go help.
Rachel Casey (00:33:18):
Um, I was very involved and, um,
Rachel Casey (00:33:22):
the things that were said,
Rachel Casey (00:33:24):
cause they had suggested a big book,
Rachel Casey (00:33:28):
but at a fifth grade reading level,
Rachel Casey (00:33:30):
because they have found that,
Rachel Casey (00:33:31):
especially like in prison,
Rachel Casey (00:33:34):
Bill,
Rachel Casey (00:33:35):
he just uses harder words and like,
Rachel Casey (00:33:37):
it's not to change the text.
Rachel Casey (00:33:39):
It's just to make it more understandable,
Rachel Casey (00:33:41):
more relatable because it can,
Rachel Casey (00:33:46):
sobriety is not supposed to feel like a challenge just to read the literature.
Rachel Casey (00:33:51):
The point of,
Rachel Casey (00:33:54):
AA is like Bill carried the message.
Rachel Casey (00:33:57):
He also didn't care if you,
Rachel Casey (00:33:59):
they did the primary purpose,
Rachel Casey (00:34:00):
but like he had problems with other drugs.
Rachel Casey (00:34:04):
Now,
Rachel Casey (00:34:04):
again,
Rachel Casey (00:34:05):
we primary mine was alcohol too,
Rachel Casey (00:34:08):
but if I'm being honest,
Rachel Casey (00:34:11):
like the alcohol led to other things and I,
Rachel Casey (00:34:14):
it breaks my heart when someone is like,
Rachel Casey (00:34:18):
Hey, we, we don't, Hey, stick to the primary purpose.
Rachel Casey (00:34:21):
Like we don't need to be talking about drugs.
Rachel Casey (00:34:22):
Like it's triggering.
Rachel Casey (00:34:23):
It's their truth.
Rachel Casey (00:34:25):
That truth might relate to the person in the back.
Rachel Casey (00:34:27):
Who's about to go use tonight.
Rachel Casey (00:34:29):
Like you don't, you don't know.
Rachel Casey (00:34:30):
That's what it's again, look for the similarities.
Rachel Casey (00:34:33):
And I find the similarities.
Rachel Casey (00:34:35):
Like I thought it was very heartwarming that there was, but, um, it got shut down and, um,
Rachel Casey (00:34:43):
It made me not feel good.
Rachel Casey (00:34:45):
And I was in studying recovery at the time.
Rachel Casey (00:34:49):
I'm still studying at ASU and it made me really,
Rachel Casey (00:34:52):
really sad to hear people that bent on,
Rachel Casey (00:35:00):
like,
Rachel Casey (00:35:00):
it has to stay the same.
Rachel Casey (00:35:03):
It's hard because there's this balance of respect and it saved my life.
Rachel Casey (00:35:09):
And I,
Rachel Casey (00:35:10):
I think he said in the end, you know, more will be revealed.
Rachel Casey (00:35:13):
And I think some people forget that too.
Rachel Casey (00:35:16):
He had said he didn't have all the answers.
Rachel Casey (00:35:18):
He invested all of his money when he died to finding the cure for alcoholism or helping.
Rachel Casey (00:35:25):
Maybe I think they said not the cure,
Rachel Casey (00:35:27):
but for those that are so bad,
Rachel Casey (00:35:30):
it could maybe get them to a place where they would be willing to detox to then get
Rachel Casey (00:35:35):
the message.
Rachel Casey (00:35:35):
Like not as in a cure to be able to drink.
(00:35:39):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:35:41):
But,
Rachel Casey (00:35:42):
you know,
Rachel Casey (00:35:42):
for because he also suffered with depression and he said that was really hard at times.
Rachel Casey (00:35:49):
So Bill was I love listening.
Rachel Casey (00:35:52):
I've gone and listened to some of his old tapes.
Rachel Casey (00:35:54):
If you go dig in the in the sober dark web, you know, and he's funny.
Rachel Casey (00:36:01):
He's he there's that thing.
Rachel Casey (00:36:05):
Don't take it too seriously.
Rachel Casey (00:36:06):
And there's some truth to that.
(00:36:10):
Right.
Rachel Casey (00:36:11):
um but it did at first save my life so it was very serious at first yeah and then
Colin Casey (00:36:17):
again you evolve well and like a question that's come up a few times so I'll ask it
Colin Casey (00:36:23):
because it feels like it came up naturally when you asked you know about updating
Colin Casey (00:36:27):
the blue book how would you do you think Bill would be into doing a podcast to help
Colin Casey (00:36:32):
carry the message or spread yeah I think I'm depressed yep
Colin Casey (00:36:37):
Yeah,
Colin Casey (00:36:38):
because like you said,
Colin Casey (00:36:39):
Rachel,
Colin Casey (00:36:39):
you know,
Colin Casey (00:36:39):
he did record himself and there are speaker meetings that are open for people like
Colin Casey (00:36:46):
Dallas Wide is an open one that they do.
Colin Casey (00:36:50):
And I think if he had the opportunity to do a podcast that I think he said it perfectly.
Tey Moore (00:36:57):
It's not promotion.
Tey Moore (00:37:00):
It's attraction.
Rachel Casey (00:37:02):
Exactly.
Rachel Casey (00:37:03):
Alcoholism was like a dirty secret.
Rachel Casey (00:37:05):
It was a red letter A and it was,
Rachel Casey (00:37:10):
we knew it was the secret sober power,
Rachel Casey (00:37:13):
you know,
Rachel Casey (00:37:13):
like it makes,
Rachel Casey (00:37:15):
if you have it,
Rachel Casey (00:37:16):
like,
Rachel Casey (00:37:16):
I mean,
Rachel Casey (00:37:16):
he even,
Rachel Casey (00:37:17):
he's pretty tea toddling in the beginning.
Rachel Casey (00:37:19):
He says,
Rachel Casey (00:37:20):
if you think you're a heavy drinker,
Rachel Casey (00:37:21):
you know,
Rachel Casey (00:37:23):
you can go to,
Rachel Casey (00:37:24):
you know,
Rachel Casey (00:37:25):
um,
Rachel Casey (00:37:25):
we don't know if you'll,
Rachel Casey (00:37:26):
you know,
Rachel Casey (00:37:27):
when you'll come back,
Rachel Casey (00:37:27):
but
Rachel Casey (00:37:29):
I know every single example I'd tried on Mondays.
Rachel Casey (00:37:31):
I'd tried on weekends.
Rachel Casey (00:37:32):
I'd tried on holidays.
Colin Casey (00:37:33):
Like, I mean, I knew just one glass or just after supper.
Rachel Casey (00:37:38):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:37:38):
There's so many different rules.
Tey Moore (00:37:40):
I tried.
Rachel Casey (00:37:44):
But that's not how, how alcoholism is looked at today.
Rachel Casey (00:37:51):
And I, I don't think there should be a stigma.
Rachel Casey (00:37:54):
Like,
Rachel Casey (00:37:56):
I have a disease.
Rachel Casey (00:37:57):
I have like,
Rachel Casey (00:37:58):
I'm allergic to alcohol and I have the disease of more and you know,
Rachel Casey (00:38:04):
Hey,
Rachel Casey (00:38:05):
that's a,
Rachel Casey (00:38:06):
you could use that word.
Tey Moore (00:38:07):
That phenomenon of drinking.
Tey Moore (00:38:09):
Once I heard that, I was like, you know what?
Tey Moore (00:38:14):
Because I never can have like one drink.
Rachel Casey (00:38:17):
No, I know.
Rachel Casey (00:38:17):
Oh, I never wanted one.
Tey Moore (00:38:19):
Right, exactly.
Rachel Casey (00:38:20):
I just was like, that just doesn't sound fun.
Rachel Casey (00:38:24):
Like I always had, I was already ready to have my second.
Rachel Casey (00:38:29):
And I also thought like being bartending and serving, you were expected to sell too.
Rachel Casey (00:38:34):
Like, I mean, no one ever just had one, you know, it's always a refill or, I don't know.
Rachel Casey (00:38:41):
It's, I just, however the message gets there, I'm cool with it.
Rachel Casey (00:38:50):
I'm only sharing my truth.
Rachel Casey (00:38:52):
So, you know, I'm not like this.
Rachel Casey (00:38:55):
There's no secret.
Colin Casey (00:38:56):
Well, and we're not telling people how to do it.
Colin Casey (00:38:58):
We're only telling people what worked for us and just kind of how we perceive the
Colin Casey (00:39:03):
world through our eyes.
Rachel Casey (00:39:05):
But yeah, the stigma of it, we're not trying to be like- It's bad, it's bad, it's bad.
Tey Moore (00:39:11):
Because even when I went in for my first meeting,
Tey Moore (00:39:13):
I was just like,
Tey Moore (00:39:15):
I'm going to see a bunch of wine notes
Tey Moore (00:39:17):
But no, I seen a bunch of regular people that look like me.
Rachel Casey (00:39:21):
Or, yeah, I mean, that was the hope I got.
Rachel Casey (00:39:24):
And I'm just like, it's not what I thought.
Rachel Casey (00:39:28):
Like,
Rachel Casey (00:39:29):
I thought it was going to be like a bunch of guys smoking cigarettes and like a
Rachel Casey (00:39:32):
white tank top,
Rachel Casey (00:39:33):
cowboy hat.
(00:39:35):
Right, exactly.
Rachel Casey (00:39:35):
Hasn't showered in like 20 days.
Rachel Casey (00:39:37):
Like, I don't know.
Rachel Casey (00:39:38):
Like, it just, and it was nothing like that.
Rachel Casey (00:39:43):
Like, everyone was happy.
Tey Moore (00:39:45):
I was talking about this.
Tey Moore (00:39:48):
When you speak in there, you have to say, hey, my name is Ted.
Tey Moore (00:39:51):
I'm an alcoholic.
Tey Moore (00:39:53):
I used to think that was the stupidest shit ever.
Colin Casey (00:39:56):
Yeah, I agree with you, though.
Colin Casey (00:39:57):
I always thought there was something so weird about that.
Rachel Casey (00:40:00):
The only desire for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
Rachel Casey (00:40:04):
All you have to say is...
Rachel Casey (00:40:07):
I don't want to drink.
Rachel Casey (00:40:09):
And some people say I qualify.
Rachel Casey (00:40:11):
Hi, my names.
Rachel Casey (00:40:13):
I always, I mean, I said the first time I said alcoholic, I had tears just rolling down my face.
Rachel Casey (00:40:19):
They didn't ask us that first meeting.
Rachel Casey (00:40:22):
And the second one, I mean, it was the first time I had said it and it felt very heavy.
Tey Moore (00:40:26):
Right.
Tey Moore (00:40:27):
Exactly.
Tey Moore (00:40:29):
I couldn't believe I just said that alone.
Rachel Casey (00:40:32):
I couldn't.
Rachel Casey (00:40:32):
And I just had tears.
Rachel Casey (00:40:34):
Just, I mean, I thought I was like,
Rachel Casey (00:40:38):
life's over it's a life sentence like we're done and yeah all our drinking friends
Colin Casey (00:40:47):
all our bar friends i was gonna throw me to the side i had that little i had that
Rachel Casey (00:40:52):
my desire chip and i'm just like looking at it reading it and it's you know to
Rachel Casey (00:40:58):
thine own self be true and i i didn't know what that meant i'm like
Rachel Casey (00:41:03):
I don't know what.
Rachel Casey (00:41:04):
And I,
Rachel Casey (00:41:04):
you know,
Rachel Casey (00:41:04):
at the end of the day,
Rachel Casey (00:41:05):
I'm like,
Rachel Casey (00:41:05):
I am a mom,
Rachel Casey (00:41:07):
no college education,
Rachel Casey (00:41:09):
no job,
Rachel Casey (00:41:10):
like no.
Rachel Casey (00:41:11):
And him and I are at each other's throats.
Rachel Casey (00:41:14):
And again, it was I what I heard was.
Rachel Casey (00:41:23):
My sponsor would say, if you don't believe, do you believe that I believe?
Rachel Casey (00:41:27):
And I was like, yeah, you look like you believe it.
Rachel Casey (00:41:30):
And she's like, okay, then use mine.
Rachel Casey (00:41:33):
If you can't believe, use the I believe.
Rachel Casey (00:41:37):
And that helped me because I was like,
Rachel Casey (00:41:39):
I haven't had someone believe in me in a really long time.
Rachel Casey (00:41:42):
And yeah, it's just like when you go there, you feel good.
Tey Moore (00:41:50):
Really good.
Tey Moore (00:41:51):
Because you heard messages from everybody, like, who's been sober, who's gotten sober.
Tey Moore (00:41:57):
And I can't remember me forever.
Tey Moore (00:41:59):
Like, I don't know what old-timer.
Tey Moore (00:42:01):
He was just like,
Tey Moore (00:42:03):
when you stop drinking,
Tey Moore (00:42:05):
you start getting things back that you never thought you'd gain back.
Tey Moore (00:42:10):
And it's so real.
Tey Moore (00:42:11):
So real.
Rachel Casey (00:42:13):
There's things I didn't know that I did want.
Rachel Casey (00:42:16):
Because...
Rachel Casey (00:42:19):
you know, that's, I didn't have a clear head and yeah, I mean,
Rachel Casey (00:42:24):
I would have, like, again, never thought this would be my life.
Rachel Casey (00:42:29):
And I mean, I love it.
Rachel Casey (00:42:30):
I love it so much.
Rachel Casey (00:42:31):
Like, there's so much, but I'm just so passionate.
Rachel Casey (00:42:35):
And, you know, Colin tells me, hey, we just do a podcast at a time.
Rachel Casey (00:42:39):
We carry the message.
Rachel Casey (00:42:42):
And we just, the rest will work itself out.
Rachel Casey (00:42:46):
And, you know, it'll open new doors.
Rachel Casey (00:42:49):
The fact I got the job on the other podcast, I mean, that was...
Rachel Casey (00:42:54):
they had hundreds.
Rachel Casey (00:42:56):
No, I don't have it anymore.
Rachel Casey (00:42:57):
That's why I started the podcast.
Colin Casey (00:42:59):
I interned there, but it's what led to, but I was so sad.
Rachel Casey (00:43:02):
Like, I mean, I was crying.
Rachel Casey (00:43:03):
I didn't, you know, I'd never wanted a drink or anything, but I mean, I was sad and,
Rachel Casey (00:43:09):
I let, I was like, okay, you know what?
Rachel Casey (00:43:11):
It's okay to feel hurt.
Rachel Casey (00:43:12):
Like life doesn't always make you happy.
Rachel Casey (00:43:15):
Like I'm going to remember this.
Rachel Casey (00:43:16):
And when the sponsee comes to me with the same feeling, I'm going to be like, it's okay.
Rachel Casey (00:43:22):
Like I felt sad too.
Rachel Casey (00:43:24):
And we accept it, you know, or we try until you do it.
Rachel Casey (00:43:30):
And then you try again the next day.
Colin Casey (00:43:32):
And, um, Were you still working in the service industry?
Tey Moore (00:43:38):
no i stopped okay because that would have been that would have been like yeah it's
Rachel Casey (00:43:46):
i said i wouldn't go back and i mean again i left my hands were so shaky and it was
Rachel Casey (00:43:54):
right when i got pregnant i left and i'm it was i was no i said i i just like
Rachel Casey (00:43:59):
didn't it's also just not the lifestyle i wanted to be around anymore
Tey Moore (00:44:02):
Right, exactly.
Rachel Casey (00:44:03):
I didn't think I'd be triggered or anything.
Rachel Casey (00:44:05):
Like, I did go work a couple shifts after sobriety, and it was fine.
Rachel Casey (00:44:11):
Like, I never had anything happen, and I never desired a drink.
Rachel Casey (00:44:16):
Like, if anything, it's, like, cringe.
Rachel Casey (00:44:20):
Because I'm like, that's what I used to be like.
Rachel Casey (00:44:22):
Right.
Tey Moore (00:44:23):
When you look back at me, you're like, was that me?
Tey Moore (00:44:26):
Yeah.
Tey Moore (00:44:27):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:44:28):
No, I'm like, no, that wasn't me.
Rachel Casey (00:44:30):
I was way worse.
Colin Casey (00:44:31):
I know.
Colin Casey (00:44:31):
I haven't had that desire either because I've gone to a few because no one I work
Colin Casey (00:44:37):
with knows that I'm sober or have been for three plus years now.
Colin Casey (00:44:43):
And when we have had functions at happy hours at like a local restaurant or bar,
Colin Casey (00:44:49):
I'll either just get like a Topo Chico or an NA beer.
Colin Casey (00:44:53):
But I always make sure that I'm doing it incognito.
Colin Casey (00:44:59):
you know,
Colin Casey (00:44:59):
eventually I'll probably just say what I'm doing,
Colin Casey (00:45:02):
but I know in the beginning,
Colin Casey (00:45:03):
I,
Colin Casey (00:45:03):
I just didn't want to have the awkward conversation around it.
Rachel Casey (00:45:09):
Hey, if I always say like, so I'm on the, I do not do NAs.
Rachel Casey (00:45:15):
I don't like not now.
Rachel Casey (00:45:17):
I've never had a non-alcoholic wine or beer.
Rachel Casey (00:45:20):
Like, I'm like, why would I pay?
(00:45:22):
Mm-hmm.
Rachel Casey (00:45:23):
for I want juice or water or soda like there are so many better things lemonade
Rachel Casey (00:45:30):
like for me again so but we're different and I mean I don't have any problem with
Rachel Casey (00:45:39):
him but
Rachel Casey (00:45:42):
I always do reserve say I'm not against NA, but every time it comes, the option is my way.
Rachel Casey (00:45:49):
I've haven't had an urge to take it.
Rachel Casey (00:45:52):
And I've told him like,
Rachel Casey (00:45:54):
you might end up going to a work happy hour and you might get the urge to share,
Rachel Casey (00:45:58):
but that's not today.
Rachel Casey (00:46:00):
You know, like I feel like listening to my, my gut, but I don't know.
Rachel Casey (00:46:08):
It better not have alcohol.
Rachel Casey (00:46:09):
I already smell my non-alcoholic drinks that aren't pretending to be non-alcoholic.
Rachel Casey (00:46:14):
Like I will smell.
Rachel Casey (00:46:15):
I don't trust anyone at restaurants.
Rachel Casey (00:46:17):
That's why I have my Stanley.
Rachel Casey (00:46:20):
I've seen mixed up drinks happen before and I don't want that to be me.
Colin Casey (00:46:23):
You know, and that was another thing I never thought.
Colin Casey (00:46:28):
would be true but like you said it helps you you know i feel my feelings now and i
Colin Casey (00:46:34):
never thought that would be a benefit um because i used and i was trying to not
Colin Casey (00:46:41):
feel my feelings and we realize how important it is and we even tell our son too
Colin Casey (00:46:47):
when he's it's like i understand you're upset i understand you know you're
Colin Casey (00:46:52):
disappointed and we say it's okay to feel these feelings
Tey Moore (00:46:57):
and to be upset yourself you realize yeah you're the root of all the problems
Tey Moore (00:47:03):
because this place don't something else like that was the problem now it was you
Tey Moore (00:47:11):
you're drinking you're the problem so it's been great to finally reach out great
Rachel Casey (00:47:17):
yeah we're still learning so this is you know we're hopefully
Rachel Casey (00:47:22):
I don't know what we have in store.
Tey Moore (00:47:24):
We're just, um, you're going to make it to the hundred episodes.
Colin Casey (00:47:28):
Yeah.
Colin Casey (00:47:29):
One day at a time.
Colin Casey (00:47:30):
One podcast.
Rachel Casey (00:47:31):
You know what?
Rachel Casey (00:47:32):
If that's what is planned, that's what's planned.
Rachel Casey (00:47:35):
I'm not, um, I had a realization today.
Rachel Casey (00:47:38):
Like I try to be very hard on myself and like, that's my ego.
Rachel Casey (00:47:43):
And I really do need to check that.
Rachel Casey (00:47:45):
Like it's okay to,
Rachel Casey (00:47:47):
to not be an incredible podcaster right now it's not like this podcast is so dope
Tey Moore (00:47:55):
when i when i don't listen to this
Rachel Casey (00:48:01):
we just like having the lighter side like we found a lot of i like speaker meetings
Rachel Casey (00:48:06):
there's nothing wrong with it and um i like hearing other people's stories but
Rachel Casey (00:48:10):
sometimes i'm like yeah that we used to do was dumb wasn't it like that was dumb
Tey Moore (00:48:16):
when you think about the old things you used to do you'd be like that's what i used
Tey Moore (00:48:22):
to do like
Colin Casey (00:48:24):
Get out of here.
Colin Casey (00:48:25):
What's worse is when I wake up and I'll see Facebook, the like memories.
Colin Casey (00:48:29):
And I'm like looking back at like my statuses from like five years ago, 10 years ago.
Colin Casey (00:48:36):
I'm like, oh, it'd be like, we're going on meal tonight.
Colin Casey (00:48:40):
Hit me up if you want a drink.
Colin Casey (00:48:42):
why did anybody let me post that yeah and i was just like uh but it's also a good
Colin Casey (00:48:47):
reminder to just like look back it's cringeworthy for me it's so cringe but it is
Colin Casey (00:48:54):
it's giving cringe as they say uh but it's good to like just look at and see where
Colin Casey (00:49:00):
i'm at now just as a human being and you know because i seen one the other day i
Tey Moore (00:49:07):
was like
Tey Moore (00:49:10):
Yeah, exactly.
Tey Moore (00:49:13):
That used to be my thought.
Rachel Casey (00:49:14):
Well, we would get mad if it wasn't.
Rachel Casey (00:49:16):
And I had a hairbrush that was a flask.
Rachel Casey (00:49:19):
So I would have like, oh, I gotta go brush my hair.
Rachel Casey (00:49:21):
And it was full of Jameson.
Rachel Casey (00:49:23):
And I had two at my sister's wedding, which I made amends for.
Rachel Casey (00:49:27):
I made amends for.
Colin Casey (00:49:27):
Those are supposed to be a gag gift.
Colin Casey (00:49:29):
And you took them to... I mean, it was...
Rachel Casey (00:49:33):
It was bad.
Rachel Casey (00:49:33):
And like, I'm not proud of that, but that's how it was.
Tey Moore (00:49:37):
I went to my first open bar wedding, sober.
Tey Moore (00:49:40):
I felt so good.
Rachel Casey (00:49:42):
Oh yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:49:42):
Us too.
Rachel Casey (00:49:42):
We've loved sober weddings.
Rachel Casey (00:49:44):
Like, well, other people aren't sober, but we're like, it's cool.
Rachel Casey (00:49:48):
I like people watching.
Colin Casey (00:49:49):
Although it was probably a good thing.
Colin Casey (00:49:51):
Cause,
Colin Casey (00:49:52):
um,
Colin Casey (00:49:53):
our first wedding we were supposed to go to sober,
Colin Casey (00:49:56):
we would have only been a couple months sober,
Colin Casey (00:49:58):
but we got COVID.
Colin Casey (00:49:59):
So we, yeah.
Colin Casey (00:50:00):
So we had to cancel and it was a good friend of ours, but that one might've been tough.
Colin Casey (00:50:05):
Cause that's a pretty drinking crowd.
Rachel Casey (00:50:07):
And I was told the same thing is that, so you go to the wedding and guess what?
Rachel Casey (00:50:12):
If you have a problem, you call me and guess what?
Rachel Casey (00:50:14):
You get your keys and you leave, you call your, and I'm like, well, what if I can't drive?
Rachel Casey (00:50:18):
I'm like, oh yeah, I'm sober.
Rachel Casey (00:50:20):
Like I'm so used to not being able to drive.
Tey Moore (00:50:22):
Yeah.
Tey Moore (00:50:24):
My best friend, he was there too.
Tey Moore (00:50:26):
He's like, I'm about to go to the liquor store and get some tequila.
Tey Moore (00:50:30):
I was like, it's open wide.
Tey Moore (00:50:32):
Why are you going there?
Tey Moore (00:50:33):
He's like, this is what we used to do.
Tey Moore (00:50:35):
Remember?
Colin Casey (00:50:37):
yeah yeah i remember going to um and this was when i was a year and a half sober i
Colin Casey (00:50:44):
went to a buddy's bachelor party and you know it was kind of nice to be the
Colin Casey (00:50:50):
designated driver for all these guys and being of service and i had no problem you
Colin Casey (00:50:56):
know going down to the the bars with everyone and kind of hanging out and being the
Colin Casey (00:51:02):
chaperone and it was also a thing it's like
Colin Casey (00:51:06):
I realized my friends,
Colin Casey (00:51:08):
you know,
Colin Casey (00:51:09):
my group that I drank with,
Colin Casey (00:51:10):
I was the one that was really fueling the fire all the time.
Colin Casey (00:51:14):
And then now that I'm sober and I'm around those same friends,
Colin Casey (00:51:17):
I'm kind of like,
Colin Casey (00:51:19):
you guys are kind of lame.
Colin Casey (00:51:20):
You're not drinking.
Colin Casey (00:51:22):
i'm like you're only having like two or three drinks it was me that was forcing
Rachel Casey (00:51:27):
everyone to really take it to the next level yep yep so and you learn those are the
Rachel Casey (00:51:33):
things you learn and i also was told if you are really like you have an event a
Rachel Casey (00:51:40):
wedding baby shower etc etc um
Rachel Casey (00:51:44):
find how you can be of service like think of a time like how you got home safe when
Rachel Casey (00:51:50):
you were drunk at a baby shower like could you be that someone for someone else and
Rachel Casey (00:51:55):
you don't do it with like expecting anything in return you just do it because
Rachel Casey (00:51:58):
someone once did it for you and you know that you can get them home safe and like
Rachel Casey (00:52:03):
that's being of service and like service is one of our pillars
Tey Moore (00:52:10):
Right, exactly.
Rachel Casey (00:52:10):
We give back because we were given, we're very lucky to get sobriety.
Rachel Casey (00:52:14):
So the only way you get to keep it is to continue doing the favors that were done
Rachel Casey (00:52:19):
for you without even you knowing.
Colin Casey (00:52:22):
Well,
Colin Casey (00:52:22):
is there anything else you want the listeners or anyone else to know about your
Colin Casey (00:52:27):
book or your sub stack where they can find you?
Rachel Casey (00:52:29):
I have all the links for it that you sent me that I'm going to put in the show notes.
Tey Moore (00:52:34):
We got my sub stack, my book.
Tey Moore (00:52:37):
I feel like I'm spreading the message to other people and showing other people that
Tey Moore (00:52:42):
it can be done.
Tey Moore (00:52:42):
It's not like a magic trick or anything.
Tey Moore (00:52:47):
No,
Rachel Casey (00:52:48):
it's just pretty much conversations like this and you learn what you learn along
Rachel Casey (00:52:54):
the way and you just keep trusting.
Rachel Casey (00:52:57):
I can tell you how I felt.
Tey Moore (00:52:59):
Because you got to put yourself in that same spot.
Tey Moore (00:53:02):
When you're drinking, do you want to hear that?
Tey Moore (00:53:04):
I don't know.
Tey Moore (00:53:05):
If somebody would have told you to go to AA, you'd be like, fuck you.
Colin Casey (00:53:09):
And that would be exactly what I thought.
Rachel Casey (00:53:11):
That's exactly what I said after my mom.
Rachel Casey (00:53:13):
I'm like, of course you would say AA.
Rachel Casey (00:53:15):
I'm like, God damn it.
Rachel Casey (00:53:17):
I'm like, you were supposed to, I thought she was going to take me to the loony bin.
Rachel Casey (00:53:20):
Because again, it wasn't my drinking.
Rachel Casey (00:53:23):
It was, I was suffering from mental illness.
Colin Casey (00:53:27):
Or your husband was being a dick.
Rachel Casey (00:53:30):
It was all your fault.
Rachel Casey (00:53:30):
Yeah.
Rachel Casey (00:53:32):
No, I'm kidding.
Rachel Casey (00:53:32):
Thank God.
Rachel Casey (00:53:33):
I mean, I'm glad getting sober is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Colin Casey (00:53:38):
So to us.
Colin Casey (00:53:39):
Yeah, for sure.
Rachel Casey (00:53:40):
No, to me.
Rachel Casey (00:53:41):
I mean, good for you, but yeah, I'm kidding.
Rachel Casey (00:53:44):
No, I'm kidding.
Rachel Casey (00:53:44):
I'm kidding.
Rachel Casey (00:53:45):
No, it is definitely.
Rachel Casey (00:53:46):
And it's nice having a sober household.
Rachel Casey (00:53:48):
Like,
Colin Casey (00:53:50):
i'm excited yeah to see ovens yeah growing up and upbringing and being able able to
Colin Casey (00:53:56):
recall you know his milestones and be able to look back and remember them clearly
Rachel Casey (00:54:02):
all right well i will put everything in the show notes um go cowboys yeah go
Colin Casey (00:54:09):
cowboys
Colin Casey (00:54:13):
No, thank you so much.
Colin Casey (00:54:15):
This was fun talking to you and getting to meet you finally.
Rachel Casey (00:54:17):
And I hope that if, if anything was relatable, please reach out.
Rachel Casey (00:54:21):
I will put all the newsletter contact information below.
Rachel Casey (00:54:24):
So, all right, well, have a good rest of your evening.
