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Speaker 1
And.
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Speaker 2
Well, welcome to Sober Banter. I am Colin.
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Speaker 1
I am Rachel.
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Speaker 2
And today we have on sober banter. We're thrilled to welcome Doctor Robert Kelly, often referred to as the Gordon Ramsay of Recovery, for his no. B.S. neuroscience meets spirituality approach to healing addiction. A former musician turned addiction expert, Doctor Kelly has overcome homelessness and addiction to himself and now helps others
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Speaker 2
rewire their brains for long term sobriety and healing.
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Speaker 2
He's been featured on The Doctors Good Morning America in countless podcasts, and he's here with us today to talk about
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Speaker 2
Addiction doesn't show up alone. It's almost always riding shotgun with trauma. Let's welcome Doctor Robert Rob Kelley on sober banter.
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Speaker 2
Thanks, guys. Great to see. Great to see you, Rachel.
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Speaker 1
you have a lot of experience in trauma and recovery.
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Speaker 2
I do, you know, 30 years into the business, 10,000 patients,
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Speaker 2
all drink alcohol like myself.
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Speaker 2
We knew addiction recovery wasn't working. We knew that the model was broken. So I've spent the last 20 years delving into
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Speaker 2
then what's known as neuroscience. But I always knew there was something more.
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Speaker 2
So we created this this program that we've been doing for about 19 years in America now that has a 98% success rate and the money back guarantee if you relapse crazy.
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Speaker 2
Oh, wow.
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Speaker 1
Well, so can you expand a little bit more on, like what? That program. And you're located in San Antonio, correct?
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Speaker 2
Yeah, I'm in San Antonio, but I have offices in Dallas, Manchester, England, London, Switzerland, Spain. So there's like five offices around. Yeah,
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Speaker 2
we've created this program. It's a it's a 90 day program. It's one hour every day by telehealth, unless we fly you in our defenses. And I work with, like, A-list celebrities. So we often fly them in on their plane, and they either stay at our house or,
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Speaker 2
we fly to them every three weeks.
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Speaker 2
But most of these telehealth,
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Speaker 2
we use psychology, we use behavioral science. So I'm a psychologist, PhD behavioral scientist, and a neuro science expert is what I like to say. So I'm actually a doctor, a psychologist.
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Speaker 2
But we open the field and we use stuff like nine D, whether it's stuff like photo modulation.
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Speaker 2
NLP, subliminal messaging were big on for changing the way we think, because almost as an experience tells me the alcohol has 1% to do with alcoholism. It's not the problem. I never had a drinking problem when I was on the streets and lost everything. I had a thinking problem, and we designed these programs to change the three major parts in alcohol, because alcoholics are born and drug addicts and made,
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Speaker 2
there's three
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Speaker 2
players
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Speaker 2
hypothalamus, basal ganglia, amygdala in the brain,
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Speaker 2
to reset.
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Speaker 2
So we talk about permanent recovery. And that's why we offer the money back guarantee.
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Speaker 1
one of the things that I did read that I was really interested in
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Speaker 1
is the brain spotting. Correct.
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Speaker 1
Yes, yes.
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Speaker 1
I am working with a therapist right now personally. And we have been doing a little bit of eMDR and from what I understand, they're kind of similar, but they're different approaches.
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Speaker 1
Like they both work with
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Speaker 1
eye movement.
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Speaker 1
I'll let you go ahead and go into that. I'm sure it's a question you get fairly often.
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Speaker 2
yeah. Brains, partners don't been around, I don't know, ten, 12 years.
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Speaker 2
What they found was with the and with the lighting people. Sometimes had a problem with the lighting flashing and moving. So,
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Speaker 2
we contacted this guy who invented brain sports, and and we kind of took it to the next level. It's an instrument. It's not there, but it's an instrument where you you go in a cross.
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Speaker 2
And we're looking for. It's a direct input from the from the pupil to the subconscious brain. So when eye movement flickers a second, there's a subconscious memory that needs to come out. So we work on that. We also have the nine dimensional breathwork, therapy
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Speaker 2
which is absolutely mind blowing.
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Speaker 1
can you elaborate too, on the breathwork?
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Speaker 2
Yeah. So it's nine dimensional.
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Speaker 2
It's a sister company I created called a breath box. Breath box, start Studios, the website. So it can be done online again.
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Speaker 2
It's basically one direct voice with music around you. So it sounds it to relax. There's a lot of breath work because the presence of oxygen equals the lack of disease.
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Speaker 2
And then there's nine dimensional subliminal messages, beam programing, center brain. And there's about 65 programs ranging from 12 minutes to,
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Speaker 2
90 minutes. So, yeah, it's, we stumbled upon this about a year ago, and it kind of took our success rate up even higher. And people are getting well. And that's that's all we care about, really, is, you know, people getting well because I think the likes of AA, which I got sober in AA and spoke up around the world on behalf of AA, don't go anymore.
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Speaker 2
I don't identify as alcoholic. But what we found is the new neuroscience, really, really breaks down into alcoholism and addiction really is because everybody thinks.
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Speaker 2
I mean, you get tired in around the corner a bottle of vodka, and he's an alcoholic. Well, alcoholism is the only self-diagnosed illness in the world. Ten DWI eyes do not make you an alcoholic.
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Speaker 1
Yeah. Technically, the diagnosis is alcohol use disorder now, like they do in the DSM five. And so there's different levels to it, but,
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Speaker 1
it's true. It's the. And we say that all the time. No one else can say you're an alcoholic but yourself.
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Speaker 2
question I have for people who don't identify with having big trauma,
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Speaker 2
what are some subtle or overlooked forms of trauma that still impact addiction?
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Speaker 2
Well, I'm not a believer of big trauma and small trauma. First of all, everybody has childhood trauma. It's the gateway drug. Everybody has it. What happens to alcoholics and addicts is we're more sensitive to that trauma. So normal people are like, oh, wow, this happened, this happened and this happened. And, you know, so it goes where, alcoholics are born with a brain that's very sensitive, that a small anything small can stay like for me.
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Speaker 2
My mom. How many times have I told you, Robert, you can't go to college like your brother. You know, you're too stupid. Not really, really cut me for years and years, so it's not so much is big. And little is to the alcoholic and addicts,
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Speaker 2
as well. More sensitive. And we hear things different. So my me and my brother stood on the kitchen table were probably 8 or 9.
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Speaker 2
My mom walks in and she says to both of us, get down off that table, you stupid idiots. Get that for you. That comes in. My brother jumps off. True story. And I freeze. Well now why do I freeze? Well, I've heard.
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Speaker 1
You know. Terrible.
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Speaker 2
You stupid idiot. So I freeze and he took his of everything I'm going to say. Today we've research for the leading research. We write for Harvard. We do all the great stuff behind it. So, when I, when I go back and uncover that, I want to know why I froze.
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Speaker 1
I was this day for myself. So I'm also like, literally right now I'm in school studying psychology.
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Speaker 1
we're studying the difference between behavioral versus cognitive.
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Speaker 1
one thing I think with trauma,
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Speaker 1
It's not that they don't identify. I think one thing for alcoholics, I've noticed is
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Speaker 1
it either has to be a huge trauma or it doesn't like they don't feel okay calling it trauma. Like, you talk about your mom yelling a dining room table. People are like, that doesn't seem like trauma. There are kids who are locked in closets and abuse.
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Speaker 1
So like, I think
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Speaker 1
a common trait is like knocking down the trauma. So how do you
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Speaker 1
help people say, hey, look, it's okay to say that's trauma. You don't have to be, like, starved for five days for it to be considered trauma or be beaten until you're black and blue. There's
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Speaker 1
other forms of trauma.
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Speaker 2
And I think I think verbal trauma as well. Which the problem is back in the day
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Speaker 2
or even now, people normalize trauma, as parents bringing up children. So,
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Speaker 2
me being hit by a wooden shoe by my mom, was trauma, but we just get here. It's no big deal, so I forget about it. But later on in life.
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Speaker 2
So what happens is that as an adult, we don't live the life we want to live. And sometimes we can't keep jobs. We can't keep relationships, we stay in jobs to way too long. And this is this is attached to trauma. So again, we kind of not normalize it. But by saying everybody has trauma, people are willing to go into that depth with the tools we use and pull that out.
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Speaker 2
Because once the trauma, like I said, childhood trauma is the gateway drug.
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Speaker 2
It once we clear that up and once we redirect and reprogram the brain, our DNA changes. So it's really important that conscious contact, that rewiring of the brain. I got it right. Psychic change. Psychic mind change, change of mind. I have to have a change of mind pertaining to this.
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Speaker 2
But I think that most people, once they understand. And the other thing as well, I've got to mention, guys, I've been through it. So when they talk about I know what they're talking about, I'm not a great believer of therapists who's not an alcoholic or addict or never suffer from depression, PTSD, working with another person who has because we think differently and it's really that connection, whether it's me on my therapist connection with the other human being, is the identification that this is a safe place.
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Speaker 2
And would you allow me just to dig down and see what you think? And of course, you guys know, oh my God, that's it has been stopping me for years and years. And it's just that subliminal message that we use as well. It is very handy for that. So we pull all sorts of tricks before they even sit down in the therapy room.
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Speaker 2
you're saying, like, everybody has trauma growing up and you identify that as alcoholics. You know, we're just more sensitive to that because I feel like there's a lot of, like you can just overcome anything or that trauma. We had the same trauma like you and your brother, you know, we had the same upbringing. I'm not an alcoholic.
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Speaker 2
You're an alcoholic. Is there anything that we're. How we figured out why we're just more sensitive, or we just grab a hold of that trauma? Because sometimes I do feel that way. That that wasn't that big of a deal yet. It's a bigger deal to that person, and that's the trauma they're holding on to. And I don't realize that because I'm not them.
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Speaker 2
I'm not that person.
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Speaker 2
Yeah. Pretty question. A lot of, So alcoholics are born, and this is part of, a disease. It's a disease because the hypothalamus, before anybody wants to say it's not a disease. Addiction is not drug addiction. He's not. We'll get into that.
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Speaker 2
So we're born this way. So we've traced imprinted cells back to a fetus level to the alcoholic gene.
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Speaker 2
So part of this, as an alcoholic, you don't have to drink to be an alcoholic, of course, is growing up. And these are our traits. They we hear things different. And as we grow up, every sensitive,
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Speaker 2
trauma we pick up, but it doesn't pick up. And it becomes that worrying part of the mind all the time. We're looking for something to go wrong.
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Speaker 2
Today, as an adult, the subconscious brain is always looking for something to go like 24 hours a day. So the subconscious brain wakes us up in the morning because of lack of oxygen. We have a system that sticks in a conscious brain. This guy wants to kill me, make it look like an accident. This guy is going to do an amazing day today.
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Speaker 2
So we have to tools that we have to use every single day to make sure that we hit that 100%. But that's basically the situation. I mean, there's a predisposition there with to resonate with, drug addicts,
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Speaker 2
three parts that are very different. Of course, when we take the first drink, all bets are off. Now, all these things that we traced back to, to fetus level is it's just part of the disease of,
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Speaker 2
always looking for something to go wrong all the time, even as a child, you know?
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Speaker 2
And then what happens is we grow up in a dysfunctional family. So let's say,
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Speaker 2
my dad's an alcoholic, and my maybe my mom. And as a child, the learned behavior and a measurement we get from parents and caregiving is when mom says, don't put the hand on the stove, it will burn you. And we do it and it burns us.
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Speaker 2
The message we get from parents is you have to trust what everybody says, including mom. So then we grow up with all kinds of things that happen to us. It's a minefield. It really is. I find alcoholism and drug addiction and PTSD and mind blowing and intriguing at the same time, because we're always learning and taking it to the next level.
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Speaker 1
And I've been told that, too, about
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Speaker 1
going into the
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Speaker 1
world of psychology. There is something about it. I've heard it said both ways. And that people who have addiction, like, are always looking for the answer. And that's not my case. Like, I don't study it because, like, I want to, like, one day drink like a normal person. I actually have no desire for that.
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Speaker 1
I don't have the desire to ever drink again because I know how it
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Speaker 1
took over everything. But I'm so curious to help others because I just want to understand, like what you said. Why did I freeze when
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Speaker 1
This is my sister and I. My sister and I are completely different and she doesn't identify as alcoholic.
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Speaker 1
And I would be I would freeze from like hypervigilance. And that's where we're working on eMDR.
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Speaker 1
I only was able to start working on that in a year sober. So how do you start working on that in like 90 days once you complete your treatment program?
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Speaker 2
I mean, we're tracking you all the time. Of course, but after 90 days, job's done. Brains, reprogramed, alcohol and drugs do not exist anymore.
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Speaker 2
I think you will. Next question. The 90, which, like I say, we do it online or in person. You notice from the first day, if you don't change one hour with me on your first day, go somewhere else.
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Speaker 2
That's what we tell people. Yeah, it's not a long. Thanks, guys. It really is. And it's a quick fix. It's knowing what to do, knowing how to get out of it, and reprograming self-sabotaging neural pathways. So, for instance, straight 100 neural pathways die every day. What are you replacing them with? Are you going to meetings where I was telling you all stories are on alcohol and you're hanging around.
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Speaker 2
Friends are no good. And these replacement neural pathways are negative. So we put people on.
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Speaker 2
I'm 10% of our work is alcohol and drugs. The rest is the mindset and and the PTSD interview. Then it's like day one, they will be on the 90 and day two they'll be on the photo modulation unit. We want to be changing the brain from day one here.
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Speaker 2
There's no time to waste. Everybody thinks
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Speaker 2
we have time.
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Speaker 1
So it's intensive too. You would say that. It's like an intensive program. You're really going to dedicate your life
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Speaker 2
this rules around that. Give us a welcome. You got a 98. It's impossible. Well it's not. First of all, you have to pass an assessment before we take you on.
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Speaker 2
So the rich people come to us because of my name, and they want to drop the kid off, leave a check.
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Speaker 2
And then we don't want, like, waste.
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Speaker 2
Like we can't help you. So we're not going to take you. I've turned so many household names down because he wasn't ready.
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Speaker 2
So you got to be ready when you come in. First of all. Wait. It's only one hour. It's intense. You either. And we have rules around it. You got to texting four times a day. We give you times if you're one minute early, one minute late, you get a warning, three warnings.
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Speaker 2
You're out. We will drop you in an instant. And you do not get your money back. It's made very clear and it's very expensive to come here. So we know already when, when they start, you know. So we start with day one with them. Intense is no warming up. There's not getting to know you when you get out of your car, in the car block, all you, we do online.
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Speaker 2
Same things. We know things about you,
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Speaker 2
that that you would never think we know. So we're always subliminally planting stuff. You come in deception, you will find out what you like. If you're a Cowboys fan, then when you're in the car, probably be a Cowboys hat stuffed in a head somewhere. When you walk in one of the girls, you're wearing cowboy socks as cowboys go for a movie playing on the big screen in reception, the walk in and the cowboy poster in the therapy room.
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Speaker 2
Now we have your full attention and you feel completely at home with us because of the identity, the resemblance that we both have the same team. So therefore we both must trust each other. That's how we stop. So there's no building. Trust up. You get trust from day one before even walk. You ready to go? These guys are awesome.
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Speaker 2
They don't know why these guys are awesome. All the subliminal messages. This is the key to fully recovering from addiction. It's not just one day at a time. That's not even a thing. You can't wait before AA. If they adopted that say it. This is permanent recovery, permanent change. Doing the things that you want to do if if we're not as recovered alcoholics and addicts, if we're not taking our life to the next level, if we're not getting that job, we're not supposed to.
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Speaker 2
I'm not supposed to do this. I come from the project, man. I lost my kids, I lost everything, and hope I'm not supposed to do this. And that's the joy of permanent recovery. Is. Says who? You can't go to America. I'll be on Oprah and and be on millions of dollars a year. Says who? I prove you wrong.
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Speaker 2
Don't mess with the guy with an alcoholic brain addiction, right? The wrong
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Speaker 1
I've said that often. I'm like, man, I. Alcoholics are the smartest people in the world, addiction or not. But outside of addiction, it goes to a whole other superpower of being able to.
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Speaker 2
Well, they've been multitasking their whole lives of how do I. Yeah, I have and and get their fix at the same time that.
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Speaker 1
Well, at least the commonality to though that you have is it only works when you're ready. And it and that's that's the hardest part. I think that's what Bill went on to try and even research himself when he got in, like there's the whole psychedelic discussion, but he just wanted to be like, how can I help people that aren't ready for help?
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Speaker 1
But I know that they have a problem. And that's where I think my curiosity starts. Fueling, too, is like, how can I help the the ones that are like, don't want the help, but we don't need the help. And it is just at this point in time, even science will say it doesn't start till the person is wanting to be out of that life.
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Speaker 2
Yeah. That's true. I did. The only thing that I would add to that is when you look at the behavioral science side of it, when they see you, you know, getting along in life, when they see you succeeding, you're leading. They want to be a part. That's the merry part, the bright. So no, we can't help anybody that's not ready.
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Speaker 2
And we will not take you. And I don't care if you give me $1 billion. We're better off in 25 million was the most from a son of a huge movie star. And we said, no, we can't do that. So I think that when they see you leaving, when they see you getting on with your life, when we do these podcasts, you know, I've done thousands of these podcasts and you will never hear me say, oh, can we have your business?
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Speaker 2
If you contact me and want me to? We don't say my stomach shut up. We don't do that. We don't sell any box. In fact, we'll give ten away today. It's just if somebody has us. And here's all talking tag. Oh my God, is that recovery that we've done our job, man. Everybody the way we did these podcasts is Courtney found you guys.
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Speaker 2
We turned down about ten a week. I think I'm on Rogan in November. I think like everybody wants a piece of this, but we don't do it. So Courtney goes around and she spots podcast and you go, oh my God, Colin, I'm Rachel changing the world. I'm going to ask if we can be. So we're very humble. Ask if we can be on it because you guys are changing the world.
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Speaker 2
So we do podcasts for a whole different,
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Speaker 2
idea of other people coming out and wanting to be well known and well known enough. Thank you. Why don't you get paid? I got enough patients. Thank you. It's like I, I have I have one thing that many people don't have, and that is enough. I have enough today. If you put it in front of me, if I got brilliant.
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Speaker 2
Let's do it now. 25% of our work is pro bono. Me and my wife get $150,000 back in cash into the community every single year.
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Speaker 2
That's PTSD. Our veterans do not pay a dime in these any of my offices. So that's how this all is giving back. Because you know what? Instructed to our five grand in the safe, at home and in every office we do.
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Speaker 2
And that $5,000 cannot sit there for less than three weeks. It is less than three weeks after three weeks now you're going to get a tell. Enough. Why have you give this away? So I go through an exercise. Oh, here's the safe. And that's five grand in that. Tell me what good that's doing anybody. Well it's not so I'm.
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Speaker 2
You found somebody or attracted somebody that you can bless I bless people money on a daily basis and my money, it's God's money. You know,
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Speaker 2
we have to make sure that happens every day. And for me, this is the whole thing of recovery. It's like when I give somebody, even at the traffic lights, I give someone a $20.
00:20:03:26 - 00:20:16:24
Speaker 2
My friend said, oh, you know what they're going to do with that? My reply is, first of all, I hope he's going to buy drugs and alcohol like I did when I was homeless. And secondly, it's none of my business what he does with it. I've given job done.
00:20:16:24 - 00:20:33:23
Speaker 1
Absolutely. I want to tie back to where you do say, the homelessness. But I do have one of the quotes in my big book that I heard someone say at a meeting is people think the relationship in life is 5050, when truly it is zero 100, because you give with zero expectations, you give your 100%.
00:20:33:23 - 00:20:43:27
Speaker 1
And if they give zero back, that's okay. That's what we learn in recovery is you give 100. It is not this 5050 that people tell you life is all about.
00:20:43:27 - 00:20:46:02
Speaker 1
But do you think that
00:20:46:02 - 00:20:59:01
Speaker 1
your bottom, if you want to go into a little bit of your story, probably helps you have that outlook and helps you help people because there are many alcoholics who have not been homeless like Colin and I have not been home.
00:20:59:03 - 00:21:01:05
Speaker 2
We had further to go. We did not hit right.
00:21:01:06 - 00:21:10:27
Speaker 1
And now I'm in. I like to say that two and appreciate the kind words about the podcast. I'm like, we just wanted something funny, some banter or some like.
00:21:10:29 - 00:21:13:17
Speaker 2
And to make it clear, she's the heart and soul I.
00:21:13:22 - 00:21:31:09
Speaker 1
Know I am. It's this like, man, there can be fun conversations without making it feel like a lecture or like I feel like I, I there were times in a when I'm like passing year sober where they're like using the scare tactic and I'm like, guys, it is not like it is serious, but like it's also
00:21:31:09 - 00:21:32:18
Speaker 1
life is fun.
00:21:32:20 - 00:21:34:13
Speaker 1
We enjoy life without alcohol.
00:21:34:13 - 00:21:38:19
Speaker 2
I mean, all you got to do is look up. I've got planned somewhere, and these are the kind of pants I wear.
00:21:40:24 - 00:21:42:10
Speaker 1
It's like you're having fun.
00:21:42:10 - 00:21:45:09
Speaker 2
Crosses all these conversations, talking like you've got to stop.
00:21:45:09 - 00:21:56:24
Speaker 2
There's no point in getting clean and sober guys to sit there just being clean. So no, it's not. It's not about us. How can I help another human being? An alcoholic cannot think even how can I help another human being today?
00:21:56:27 - 00:22:17:20
Speaker 2
And that's what gets me up in the morning, is like, we always have to be giving back. We always have to give thanks to God. We always need to do this. One of the biggest lines in the big what's misquoted is I can choose a God of my own understanding. It never says that. It said we have to choose a God as we understand him with a capital H and that one, we're all powerless.
00:22:17:22 - 00:22:41:23
Speaker 2
Now say again what we're all about. Nope, nope. Words matter. We admitted we were. It's past tense. I pass through liquor stores on the way to work today. I'm not powerless over alcohol, but you know, when it brainwashes that way, I'm a powerless a this gone. The compulsion to drink had to be taken away from me, and therefore my behavior needed to change and I needed to be successful.
00:22:41:26 - 00:22:58:29
Speaker 2
I got to see my girls for 30 years. They didn't want anything to do with me. Four years ago, my oldest daughter contact me. This is what happens in this world when you do things right. So she comes up into the night in three hours. You can imagine we have people around us, we want several multi-million dollar company.
00:22:59:01 - 00:23:18:24
Speaker 2
So we're on a plane, back to England. I stayed in a hotel overnight. I'm so scared. My wife, we brought round. I couldn't knock on the door. Guys cried or a waste of time on a piece of crap you are. She opened the door and we hugged and we cried. And she took me by my hand. And she walked me into her living room.
00:23:18:26 - 00:23:37:12
Speaker 2
And she handed me my three month old granddaughter. That's recovering. That daughter is now my therapist in my Manchester offers that recovery, not the money. The money will come if you want it, but believe me, I ain't going to make you happy. It really is. These are the things that make me happy today. Watching the eyes bright, watching power.
00:23:37:12 - 00:23:55:03
Speaker 2
We've got thousands and thousands of cards of people, especially parents. Thank you for saving his life. Like we've got our own son back. That's me. Pain in fall, guys. When I hear stuff like that and my daughter came alive for her granddaughter three months ago, my youngest daughter contacted me on Facebook. So, yeah, we get everything back. You know?
00:23:55:03 - 00:23:57:09
Speaker 1
Yeah, but in the beginning, I think,
00:23:57:09 - 00:24:16:00
Speaker 1
One thing I just thought about, too is I think when I walked into the rooms of a. Which I didn't even know that it was going to necessarily work is at that point, when I walked in, I was powerless over alcohol because at that point I could not stop drinking on my own and on it was that time that, you know, yeah, there's another way.
00:24:16:00 - 00:24:16:27
Speaker 1
And it was the
00:24:16:27 - 00:24:19:13
Speaker 1
jumped in and did very intense work immediately. But
00:24:19:13 - 00:24:22:23
Speaker 1
the it didn't take long for the obsession to actually go away.
00:24:22:23 - 00:24:40:24
Speaker 2
know it's not people. Thing is weakness. A month is like if you look at the that, they just say, no, you didn't get well overnight or you didn't get sick, or you can't get well overnight. That's not true. The third alcoholic recovered immediately. The book says immediately. Now, a days or immediately he recovered. And the people don't like that.
00:24:41:01 - 00:24:55:08
Speaker 2
You know, it mentions 29 times recovered in the first one six, four. It mentioned on the title page, I will always be recovering, and you're never going to get to the level of life that God wants you to get. And you got to look at, you know what recovered means.
00:24:55:08 - 00:24:57:10
Speaker 2
Well, back in the day, they also group.
00:24:57:12 - 00:25:17:13
Speaker 2
The reason I call it Oxford Group is nine out the 12 into Oxford University. Like me. So they use the Oxford English Dictionary recovered in the Oxford English Dictionary says this to gain one's health and state of mind. It's like trudging. We trudge. Everyone who thinks trudging is, you know, up to your knees in mud. Now go back to the Oxford English.
00:25:17:13 - 00:25:26:17
Speaker 2
It means to march on triumphantly. And I think the message of A.A. from that book, which is Alcoholics Anonymous, where the fellowship,
00:25:26:17 - 00:25:37:06
Speaker 2
is being lost and I think that is wanted. That message watered down. God, that I hate this, you know. Hey, Jimmy, I just wasn't I wasn't ready. I believe he died, didn't it? Yeah, he just wasn't ready.
00:25:37:10 - 00:25:38:00
Speaker 2
I well.
00:25:38:12 - 00:25:57:26
Speaker 2
Oh, my. I'm straight in his face. How dare you take a stance here? How dare you doubt sanctimonious a you. It's it's not work intensity with it. You disgust him. You can all. We've seen all the guys, man. You know, the 85 year old guy in the corner with 150 years sober never says a word. Pretty girl comes in all year.
00:25:57:27 - 00:25:59:21
Speaker 2
I I'm 25. Shut up.
00:26:00:24 - 00:26:01:28
Speaker 2
to say?
00:26:02:06 - 00:26:05:19
Speaker 3
It's still true, though. Very true.
00:26:05:19 - 00:26:08:29
Speaker 2
if they really pissed me off, he's like, I was sat in a room one day
00:26:08:29 - 00:26:12:08
Speaker 2
over here. I think he was. And I've never been there before.
00:26:12:08 - 00:26:18:02
Speaker 2
And I'm not the one to keep quiet, by the way, this woman was explaining that she's an alcoholic for a husband is.
00:26:18:04 - 00:26:27:03
Speaker 2
So last night, he drank beer and he spilled a cat over. And when she got up this morning, the dog was licking the alcohol. Do you think he's an alcoholic? The dog?
00:26:27:16 - 00:26:47:07
Speaker 2
Excuse me? That's why God give us therapists and doctors. Shut up. That ain't. No, that's not the solution. AA should be a pep rally. It should be all, because you get one chance when that guy walks in suffering from untreated alcoholism and you're bragging about your five years and years miserable as crap.
00:26:47:24 - 00:26:48:15
Speaker 3
Yeah.
00:26:48:15 - 00:26:49:10
Speaker 2
I'm not doing it
00:26:49:10 - 00:26:50:06
Speaker 2
Would.
00:26:50:06 - 00:27:21:15
Speaker 2
Speaking of, though, like AA, I know a lot of times when people relapse in, they've gone the AA, and it might be blamed. Well, they didn't follow the 12 steps closely enough. They didn't have a higher power. You know, all these other things get blamed of why they relapsed. What would you say about someone that's having issues with relapsing, since you're more into the neuroscience of it all and just kind of subliminal messages, rewiring everything because I thought it was great as a starting point for me.
00:27:21:17 - 00:27:34:08
Speaker 2
But now, you know, now that I'm past it, you know, I don't need to go every day. I go maybe twice a month, just more. So because I really like the group that I found, I connect with that group. It's more of the connection
00:27:34:08 - 00:27:45:04
Speaker 2
But as far as someone that's relapsing, I hear that a lot in the groups I go to. It's like, oh, I he didn't have a higher power. He didn't follow the 12 steps hard enough. And to me, I'm kind of like, well, that's a little bullshit. But.
00:27:45:15 - 00:28:02:15
Speaker 2
It is. You know, people want to say it was the only way. It's not like I said, I got sober, and I go, let's look at the reality of this. If you keep relapsing, you have childhood trauma that's unresolved. And that is attached to what's called the basal ganglia in the brain. The basal ganglia is our repetition strengthened confirmed part of the brain.
00:28:02:16 - 00:28:18:21
Speaker 2
So, you know, we start driving the car with it was scared. It's like the car got a mini and it feels like a bloody Rolls-Royce. And we're scared. And that's the basal ganglia learning that driving things. In a few months time, we can reverse down the driveway, talking to long, waiting to the girlfriend. Listen to me at the same time.
00:28:18:24 - 00:28:41:03
Speaker 2
That's the basal ganglia. What happens with alcoholics and sometimes addicts is, if you can imagine a clock face 12:00 we go on a bender at ten after become sober, 20 after the wife glasses back in half past, the kids come back in, and at 22 or up at that job, we've always wanted to. We self-sabotage it's head mental childhood trauma, and that will always set it to self-sabotage all the time.
00:28:41:06 - 00:29:00:26
Speaker 2
Unless you sort that stuff out. What happened to what is here is 100% what's doing to you now. You cannot correlate, you know, mind. I mean it does 100%. So if you keep relapsing, it's not that you're weak. It's not that you can't stop drinking. It's not about the alcohol. Guys. I keep telling people this. It's not about the alcohol.
00:29:00:26 - 00:29:28:12
Speaker 2
What's really gone on your head is you have unresolved childhood trauma. That doesn't seem childhood trauma to therapists, and it doesn't seem it, but it is. And it sticks there and it will kill you. That's the bottom line. So you have to look at what are you doing? You you can't if you're suffering from untreated alcoholism, you can't mess around with this deal like you like you just said, Colin, you know, there's a millions of groups that are amazing going big book all the time, straight out the big box punch, which you have.
00:29:28:12 - 00:29:47:22
Speaker 2
I mean, I started it some years ago in San Antonio. The techno crap. If anybody people again. Well, you know, but you still have monopoly if you go to smart recovery if you go to church, you do the same thing, man, it's pretty basic. Solve the trimer out, okay? Make sure that you stop self-sabotaging in all kinds of ways and then do something good with your life.
00:29:47:22 - 00:30:07:22
Speaker 2
Be a manager. Be a CEO. Have children get you to move forward in life. As long as you've healed the part that's been causing you all the trouble. So why not? When I when I like alcohol and never come to me on a Friday night and go, hey Rob, let's have a drink. It doesn't happen that way. It happens at least a week before we had a manager get on my nerves, not my children.
00:30:07:22 - 00:30:26:16
Speaker 2
I did that and I did that bank relapse. So when that starts here and the drink is there, if you don't catch it here, all bets are off. Man. You cannot stop that routine. Yeah. It's important how many times, guys, if you turn back from the liquor store. Never. You know what I mean? Why does it never. It just doesn't happen.
00:30:26:18 - 00:30:47:26
Speaker 2
So like I say, it happens a week before when you relapse. And it's just. If it's not about the alcohol, what's it about? It's about the stuff I've been through as a child that I've forgotten about. I don't want to talk about what they've normalized. We listen to this. So is a prime example with me. So my mom and dad used to work in people, lower class working people would have done the project.
00:30:47:28 - 00:31:07:27
Speaker 2
They used to drop us like their friends that they trusted every Friday night. And we used to stay over when the dad went to drink, slept in the next morning to pick us up. When my parents car pulled out the driveway, we had to play what's called the run around naked game, where we run around the children and the adults would chase and tickle us.
00:31:08:00 - 00:31:27:15
Speaker 2
That ain't normal. That's child abuse. So then we come up with a saying that people don't like and and that is anything less than nurturing as a child is child abuse. Think about that real deeply. Well, I was sent to the zoo by my professor for a year. Africa. I hated that man for that. Watching the chimpanzees and the monkeys, that's all.
00:31:27:15 - 00:31:47:08
Speaker 2
I was taking notes for a year and the stuff I learned was phenomenal. The nurture. We don't do that today. When I'm working, I get to see my kids until 5:00. That's when the nurturing starts. If you're taking your kid upstairs on a on a Game Boy for like eight hours a day, there's a future addict that's a relationship to our messed up.
00:31:47:09 - 00:32:06:07
Speaker 2
That's just why do you have kids in the first place? And I'm so busy, it. No, you know, stop it, stop it already. Be busy. Crap with your children. You decide to have children. Do you nurture them? Children whenever you're with him, you know. But we don't do that today. We've lost that communication. And we've lost that, contact with another person because everyone's online.
00:32:06:09 - 00:32:19:00
Speaker 2
My friend was trying to tell me that his son convinced them that 85,000 friends. Until he realized it was Facebook. And I told him he just plugged into a wall. You know, it's crazy. They should. Society's crazy right now.
00:32:19:05 - 00:32:36:13
Speaker 2
Well, when you talk about the power of just that subconscious, you know, you have to be aware. The algorithm that whatever. If your kid's on YouTube or playing, you know, it feeds into that. And then they're getting bombarded with all these things they don't know how to handle. And it's just so much content all at once.
00:32:36:13 - 00:32:53:28
Speaker 2
Yeah, it's it's it's reprograming the brain, you know, and it'll never be the same again. We need to try and get back to. I know it sounds crazy, guys. Sunday walks in the park. So everybody meet for dinner every night at 6:00. We sit down as a family. I mean, it happens in millions of homes.
00:32:53:28 - 00:32:55:03
Speaker 2
But we don't.
00:32:55:10 - 00:33:12:19
Speaker 2
There's millions a year. You know, we need to get back to that. You know, it's I can't emphasize enough that once you get once you find out what addiction is and alcoholism, it will blow your mind of what you are. Actually, because we lose our identity, my identity becomes an alcoholic. That's why I don't identify anymore. Oh, Rob.
00:33:12:19 - 00:33:30:09
Speaker 2
Yeah, he's an alcoholic. My name is rubbing alcohol. Stop it already. So you go back to the cancer. Was when you've been cured. All my name from them I have cancer. They go. No you don't. You've been cured. I know I'm I'm going to kick them every night because. 19. Now stop it already. Stop it now. I think AA in the Big Book is genius as stuff in that book.
00:33:30:09 - 00:33:49:24
Speaker 2
Guys, today we're just finding out with the neuroscience that they were right about neuroplasticity. They said this 60 years ago about changing the way we think in the medical fraternity ten years ago. We're all excited because they find out they can rewrite the brain. But in 1938, when they wrote that book, it came out in 1939, they were already talking about that.
00:33:49:25 - 00:33:50:29
Speaker 2
It's mind blowing. The
00:33:50:29 - 00:33:51:10
Speaker 2
book.
00:33:51:10 - 00:33:57:10
Speaker 1
I don't think they knew what they had at this, and I. I've talked about that on just recently on our podcast that
00:33:57:10 - 00:34:08:02
Speaker 1
you have to understand that, like, Bill was only a few years sober when he wrote that. And the first book, it was just in you're right on the the wording in the wording is so important.
00:34:08:02 - 00:34:20:25
Speaker 1
It's how the first hundred men recovered from alcoholism. It's on the very first page. I have it highlighted in state and like I even have it type, right, because it was the first 100 people that he wrote the book. He he just wanted to spread the word
00:34:20:25 - 00:34:23:14
Speaker 1
I mean, doctor Bob had a lot to do with it too.
00:34:23:16 - 00:34:45:18
Speaker 1
And then going up to the hospital and talking to alcoholics. But I think the connection to and why I will never be able to drink again is I identify with that elusive feeling that alcohol gave. There was something about when alcohol entered my body. And I do have childhood trauma that that feeling was so elusive. I had to have more.
00:34:45:21 - 00:34:53:07
Speaker 1
And that's why right now, like, I don't I'm not in addiction, but I know if I introduce alcohol to my body,
00:34:53:07 - 00:34:54:27
Speaker 1
it would restart. I would
00:34:54:27 - 00:35:06:05
Speaker 1
it would be that same elusive feeling that I just can't get enough of it. At least I believe so. I don't want to go try it. But what do you how does that connection still stay with you?
00:35:06:05 - 00:35:09:18
Speaker 1
Like after you're recovered, you don't go drink again,
00:35:09:18 - 00:35:17:00
Speaker 2
Get well. You don't got to think again. Okay? You you can. You can stay cell 100%. But what if you look really clear that the human behavior.
00:35:17:00 - 00:35:25:20
Speaker 2
So me and my friend goes into a sandwich and I go, hey, Billy, what you want I get sandwiches? Is that it? Yeah. What about you? Give me two sandwiches, three packs of chips, two cans of Coke.
00:35:25:26 - 00:35:50:17
Speaker 2
I have to have everything because I'm all or nothing. That's the brain I've been. So let me turn that around a good. It's good. But, yeah, I mean, you know, we've we've because of the trauma and because of being born alcoholic the first time we take alcohol, which I was nine years old on stage with my musical family in Liverpool, England, when I, when I did it, we find that place and we find that feeling that nothing else could get us.
00:35:50:17 - 00:36:11:23
Speaker 2
So every time we do that, we escape the trauma. We escape all the stuff that's been hidden. Really important point here, guys. Hidden in the subconscious brain. So you don't know what's going on. But you can't keep a girlfriend. You can't keep a job. You did. I did it that I whatever it is, childhood trauma. So that's the nearest thing to replacing all of that.
00:36:11:25 - 00:36:26:14
Speaker 2
You ask an alcoholic. Why does he drank? To get me to get out my head also, you say that, you know, and it's it's, And the cancer and the alcohol, it's like I just stopped drinking. How we've all done that. Guys, can you stay stopped and be happy in life? Are you in the job that you want to be all your life?
00:36:26:19 - 00:36:46:13
Speaker 2
Are you married to the girl? Our guide. You live in the house. Drive that car you've always wanted to know. Childhood drama. You got to catch childhood trauma. We're limited beliefs all the time. So we. We're limited to what our parents used to do. So I was supposed to grow up on the project work for the gas board because my dad used to take the roads for the gas bills, have a couple of children,
00:36:46:13 - 00:36:47:21
Speaker 2
watch him grow up and die.
00:36:47:23 - 00:36:54:15
Speaker 2
That was my life. It's been generations around me is life. So why would I be any different? Well, I wanted to smash that, and that's why I did.
00:36:54:15 - 00:37:03:00
Speaker 1
if you could have one, like, one myth that you wish you could, like, take away from the recovery community, what do you think that would be?
00:37:03:07 - 00:37:06:11
Speaker 2
I'm one. I'm one arm's length away from a dream.
00:37:06:11 - 00:37:15:15
Speaker 2
It's a dick. Say to me so I'm just one. I'm not any selfish. Yeah. One arm's length away from a drink is like, How many people have you killed with that lie? Oh, my God, it
00:37:15:15 - 00:37:16:18
Speaker 2
right. It's like an arm.
00:37:16:18 - 00:37:36:27
Speaker 2
Is that. Is that. I mean, we just get so much misinformation from these. I travel around the world speaking on behalf. I've been to God knows how many meetings around the world. And I can say one thing for sure, and that is around 94% of any person at any one time, in any meeting in any country is not the real alcohol.
00:37:36:27 - 00:37:40:13
Speaker 2
They're not. Yeah. I went to a for the first time, never drank since,
00:37:40:13 - 00:37:41:02
Speaker 2
nonalcoholic.
00:37:41:02 - 00:37:53:13
Speaker 2
Did you ever had the. But no, no, I, you know, I just keep coming out. Not an alcoholic. Stay away from the guys. If anybody walks over to you and says, can I sponsor? Stay away from them guys. They. Then there's 94% of non alcoholics in our rooms.
00:37:53:20 - 00:37:55:19
Speaker 2
And what happened in the early days was,
00:37:55:19 - 00:38:20:03
Speaker 2
I had a 99% success rate in Akron around there. And then what happened years later is the Betty Ford Clinic was born. And what happened to all them people that went to Betty Ford after you leave? They sent me to AA. And what happened to AA? It buckled under the weight and we allowed people to come in our rooms and talk shit and talk about, you know, Steve McCarty work this morning, that AA was always meant to be the power of God.
00:38:20:05 - 00:38:39:23
Speaker 2
AA was always meant to be a pep rally. AA was always meant to come stay out of the book and seek to 100% success rate. That's what it promised on 99 because no one believes you 100% success rate. But we've been watered down with the watered down and watered down now and it's absolutely ridiculous. Dylan. Bob would absolutely love that.
00:38:39:24 - 00:38:51:05
Speaker 2
Christ himself to death. Again, looking at what we have now in the rooms is disgusting some of the time, you know, so one of them went away from a drink is definitely something I want to smash the myth.
00:38:51:27 - 00:38:53:04
Speaker 3
Yeah, that's a good one.
00:38:53:11 - 00:39:12:21
Speaker 2
I had another question of something you said earlier. That alcoholics are born and drug addicts are made. If you wanted to just elaborate on that, because I know sometimes it's in the rooms. Those can get blurred together, as in whether it's childhood trauma or what. But, I mean, a lot of times those things go hand in hand, too.
00:39:12:21 - 00:39:22:07
Speaker 2
I know I had my fair share of drug abuse and addiction as well, but I only went to kind of AA, and that seemed to put a Band-Aid on. Well, all of it.
00:39:22:07 - 00:39:35:29
Speaker 1
The reason and again, one also drug did use drugs. But I think for me, I was I was never confused that alcohol was always my primary. That was like my go to. And the drugs never came before. The alcohol
00:39:35:29 - 00:39:37:11
Speaker 2
Well, what happens is,
00:39:37:11 - 00:39:45:06
Speaker 2
two things. You have to decide if an alcoholic is in the family. Traced three generations back. If you can't find any alcoholism, you want an alcoholic.
00:39:45:15 - 00:39:56:14
Speaker 2
That said, you're not the real alcoholic. This generation were born this way. You were born with a predisposition. What? Allergic to the ethyl on the alcohol from birth and hypothalamus. Basal ganglia is,
00:39:56:14 - 00:40:05:24
Speaker 2
is broken. So let's look at the hypothalamus in the alcoholic. Only first one the hypothalamus is my it controls my temperature. And it also is my survival.
00:40:05:24 - 00:40:24:06
Speaker 2
It tells the brain from birth we have to eat food, drink water to survive. That is it. It's our primary survival part. And why we keep alive at a certain point of the alcohol is drinking. Correct? The hypothalamus hijacks the brain and tells the alcoholic to drink alcohol only to survive. That's why we can go days, all weeks without food or water.
00:40:24:08 - 00:40:43:21
Speaker 2
His primary job is to tell us to drink alcohol. That's number one. Why alcoholics are born. Fetal bang. There's the imprinted cells behind when we drink, and many don't. But when we do drink because of, you know, messages back home and measurement and all that stuff because my mom, with that drink and it just spirals from there.
00:40:43:27 - 00:41:05:22
Speaker 2
Drug addicts have the addictive personality now they both show up the same, don't get me wrong, but 96, 97% of people that come to us with a drug addiction started at the doctor's office. So we have a big problem with that. Now, that's the difference between the first and the second. And I used to get I used to get feedback on this all the time going, you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong.
00:41:05:24 - 00:41:19:29
Speaker 2
Until we, Harvard University printed a document for McLean hospital that cycle, and everyone started. Oh my God. But when they first hear that, they go, that's impossible. It's all the same. It's not all the same guys. They both present the same. Both as hard as hell,
00:41:19:29 - 00:41:28:16
Speaker 2
to come away the first few days. But once you get on the program, whatever that program is, if it's AA on the AA program, not my sponsor said get on the eight.
00:41:28:16 - 00:41:33:12
Speaker 2
What does the AA program say if you if the steps are supposed to be done in two days,
00:41:33:12 - 00:41:39:23
Speaker 2
one it goes next immediately back on step four. After step five, go home. The book says
00:41:39:23 - 00:41:40:26
Speaker 1
It's all in one chapter.
00:41:40:26 - 00:41:44:08
Speaker 2
Next day, come back eight till 12. Done.
00:41:44:08 - 00:41:48:19
Speaker 2
This is after we have a full knowledge of our condition, which is the first 164.
00:41:48:24 - 00:42:07:00
Speaker 2
Try looking someone at not you guys. Guys try to look in some of them words of an dictionary that you think you know the what they mean. It's unbelievable. It's all in the word. And what they're trying to tell us is now getting through today miraculous things. Well, things of miracles will happen to you. What is that? One miraculous.
00:42:07:03 - 00:42:14:25
Speaker 2
There's so many words in there that absolutely blew my mind when I read them. You know, it's a that's a two differences.
00:42:14:25 - 00:42:18:13
Speaker 2
We did we spent $190,000 on research around that.
00:42:18:13 - 00:42:22:03
Speaker 2
And, and that's what we stick to today. And it's proven to be true as we go along.
00:42:22:03 - 00:42:26:00
Speaker 1
one thing you touched on earlier that I like, I cannot emphasize enough too, is
00:42:26:00 - 00:42:29:14
Speaker 1
People in addiction, working with others in addiction and
00:42:29:14 - 00:42:44:11
Speaker 1
going back because they don't just get it. And I have my whole big book because I did a big study because I wanted to understand, like, I'm like, I, I need to like I want to figure it out because
00:42:44:11 - 00:42:46:23
Speaker 1
I was alcoholic, I couldn't stop drinking.
00:42:46:23 - 00:42:58:18
Speaker 1
And I worked this program and I'm like, I just want to figure out, like kind of the science because there's got to be more to it, right? And that's what you did in your career and it's paying it forward. But,
00:42:58:18 - 00:43:20:12
Speaker 1
I was going to say the I have my big book redacted to the original steps because the because this the fourth published version, that's actually not the one Bill really wanted to go with, but that was where people he had a bunch of others saying, oh, do this, do that, and you have all these chirping ins and really one of the big ones that was
00:43:20:12 - 00:43:22:23
Speaker 1
big for me anyways is he's like, you have
00:43:22:23 - 00:43:51:12
Speaker 1
to demand to give yourself to something else other than yourself. And actually, he says humbly, ask on your knees to have your defects of character removed. And people are like, oh, well, I don't think you should tell people to get down on their knees. People are going to take that the wrong way. And for Billy, he's like, well, but that was my sign of like my commitment, my seriousness, like my I'm all in no matter what I used to say, I if my sponsor had suggested I'd like the ground, I probably would have.
00:43:51:14 - 00:44:10:03
Speaker 1
But I mean, obviously she would never do that. And another thing is we get all these like cute little worksheets, which I also don't really believe in because the steps are in the book. Like goal. If you want to know how to do a fourth step, go look at bills. He was mad at his neighbor. His neighbor was hitting on his wife resentment.
00:44:10:05 - 00:44:35:14
Speaker 1
His wife. You know, doesn't want let him drink the way he wants to drink resentment. All those stories in the big Book are all about someone who had a resentment, then got in a confrontation with alcohol and chose the alcohol over resentment. It's like you look at the breakdown of the big book and it's all there. And I don't know if that's how you've kind of connected it as well.
00:44:35:14 - 00:44:51:23
Speaker 2
The big. The big book is one of the most fascinating. And I don't forget my degrees that I have, okay? It's the best piece of literature I have ever read for the recovery of an alcoholic. An addict. Period. I, Jack sees it or Bill sees it. What it's called monetary purposes only. Get back to the original paper.
00:44:51:23 - 00:45:09:12
Speaker 2
What does it say? Not what your sponsor says. What does it say? Right? Once we start realizing all the little words that you think didn't really mean anything. Oh my God, I can't remember. The word is a word that says, you know, it's like immediately we get into it. So it's time coming out. Step three I think to step four immediately.
00:45:09:18 - 00:45:30:15
Speaker 2
And then under step two next start to step five. Next on to step five. But instead I line up to the shopping inside. And you know I never once been served a part for renewing the parking. The guy's going next. Next. It means go move on to the next step. It doesn't mean what it was. Step a month, then guys are going to kill you.
00:45:30:15 - 00:45:37:21
Speaker 2
Man. I wanted to therapy. I by the way, guys, there's 3000 gods. Just freaking pick one.
00:45:37:21 - 00:45:43:00
Speaker 2
When I went to my therapist, I wanted to pick somebody that I could go to and vent on my own because I see so many people.
00:45:43:00 - 00:45:48:00
Speaker 2
I have three lined up. The first one I went, and. Nice young guy, I told him, alcoholic guy.
00:45:48:02 - 00:46:03:24
Speaker 2
And I says, have you suffered from the addict? And he said, no, no, no, but I've been to. And he pointed out his degree. You know, I've got a masters in addiction recovery. And I went, no, I'm functioning that well do. And he said, well why. I said, they give you a scenario, you've got a bottle of vodka behind your back, okay.
00:46:03:27 - 00:46:19:25
Speaker 2
And I made a drinking face and you won't get it to me, so why not take a knife and stab you repeatedly in the face? Would you get that? Is. Oh, do I need to call the police? Same with the second one. Got to the third one. She must have been 80 years old, guys. She was all hippie.
00:46:19:27 - 00:46:40:26
Speaker 2
Straggled down, old heroin addict, therapist. And it goes in and I said, hey, before we start, let me tell you a scenario. If you have a bottle of vodka and after its establishment, no, I'll study first and then I'll shoot you then a very event. Funny, somewhat. You know, my therapist may you know exactly how I think. And that's what the big bottle was, was, was made for, is it?
00:46:40:26 - 00:46:58:21
Speaker 2
If you read it the way it's supposed to be, read and understand every word because you can't get it well if you don't know what you're suffering from. So the book says we have to have a full knowledge of our condition before we can touch the steps. So I get my guys, we do the steps in two days, but it's going to take a week to read the book.
00:46:58:24 - 00:47:12:10
Speaker 2
We're looking for muscle words. There's 130 muscle words. Things I must do, I can sober. There's 137 messages, not just a master, 9 to 351 God words. Oh my God.
00:47:12:10 - 00:47:27:09
Speaker 2
Promises, messages. All this stuff is in there multiple times to tell you that when it says we must, it means when must. If you are, if you are at a road in the right lane, the sign says people in the right hand lane must to right.
00:47:27:10 - 00:47:43:27
Speaker 2
It's a directive straight from the book for people. They'll tell you like that. You know, people say, oh, well, you know, yeah, it's a choice. You know, we have a give us the book tells you the people that do that is 100% success. Right? Period. I use the book in my practice, all of them around the world. It's absolutely mind blowing.
00:47:44:04 - 00:48:02:09
Speaker 2
What? I'll powerless. Stop that shit. Guys, how many people have you killed with that line? You've got to be really careful. You want to go to meetings and drink coffee and talk crap? Go ahead. But you know something will let you when it comes back. When it comes in every first time. Suffering of an untreated alcoholism. Shut up.
00:48:02:12 - 00:48:22:21
Speaker 2
You got nothing to say? Well, the only you shut up. You got nothing to say? This is serious, guys. I think one of the reasons I started the whole business is I got sick and tired of watching people die inside and outside the rooms from lack of information. Well, just if you feel like relaxing tonight, Rob, just take a nice warm bath and then go for a walk.
00:48:22:24 - 00:48:42:26
Speaker 2
Are you freaking kidding me? When my survival part of the brain is telling me to drink otherwise I will die. You think a bat's going to do it? You think I walk around the freaking parks going to do it? Nothing will do it. Do what the Pope says is 100% success rate. But you've got to know. And Rachel, this is what I bow down to you.
00:48:42:27 - 00:48:55:15
Speaker 2
Your knowledge is I studied the big book, I have DVD out on the big book in prisons and all that. But no, the book man, know what the authors want us to understand? Then you recover.
00:48:55:29 - 00:48:56:09
Speaker 1
Yep.
00:48:56:18 - 00:49:22:12
Speaker 1
But the biggest line of the book is only, you know, an alcohol. It can work with other alcoholics like no one else can. That is the beauty of it. People who have recovered can speak to another alcoholic, not like a priest, not like a doctor. There are. It's just a different understanding. It's a different level. It's like, I feel like right now in school, I'm like, I have a different synapse.
00:49:22:12 - 00:49:28:02
Speaker 1
Like my message. My senior sign up messages are just different than how they connect on others.
00:49:28:02 - 00:49:30:03
Speaker 1
You know, going back to like, the science.
00:49:30:03 - 00:49:50:17
Speaker 2
never, never met a person who's on the same level as me. Never. Your knowledge of that and belief in that, Rachel, is is a is. I'm absolutely mind blowing. It's like it's there for us. It's there now. The new neuroscience today just tells us about different parts of the brain, but it's basically the same thing. And the first step is to have the trauma.
00:49:50:28 - 00:50:06:00
Speaker 2
We just have the most of it now we know lies in the subconscious. So you can't really put it down because you don't know. But if you're writing your fourth step for your 20th sponsor, that stellar shit that you wrote down on your first, that that's not the stuff we're looking for. Well, lucky for that stuff, you get to take to the grave with you.
00:50:06:02 - 00:50:28:22
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. That stuff. You know, the monastic. Yeah. That's what we're looking for. We're not looking for. You stole $10 off my mom 55 years ago. When you've done that 100 times before, gets get down to to the real deal here. And that is, if you don't do this, you will die. If you are real alcoholic. And that's the other people don't want to read, like you say, real alcoholic.
00:50:28:24 - 00:50:35:12
Speaker 2
First of all, it says in the book, and secondly, how many times that Billy around the colony drinks every day? He's an alcoholic.
00:50:35:12 - 00:50:44:05
Speaker 2
That's not true. I mean, it could be, but it's not true. You don't know that, you know. So we want to tag people without. And that's what happened to a with they poured in, poured in.
00:50:44:08 - 00:51:02:22
Speaker 2
I said I can't my wife's killing me if I don't stop drinking. You know, the doctor said this. You know, I've come from the psych ward. I've come from a essay charge. And they sent me here. It's it's no wonder Alcoholics Anonymous is buckled under the weight. It's like, let's get down to basics. Let's get down to go back to the book and see what it says.
00:51:02:25 - 00:51:15:29
Speaker 2
Then you can add what we do on top of that to understand the neuroscience that we know today. But if Dylan was was to be alive today, they would have already wrote the neuroscience stuff 40 years ago.
00:51:16:13 - 00:51:35:09
Speaker 2
If you're telling me that two human beings wrote that without the aid of God, I disagree with you 100%, they could not have no a psychic chain. A psychic change is now neuroplasticity. I'm aghast how they would even know that with no scientific research into that. It's mind blowing.
00:51:35:09 - 00:51:56:26
Speaker 1
the way that they broke it down. It's just two alcoholics that. Yeah, I do I do believe there was albeit I mean I say, yeah, I think the book obviously not like did he have that power in himself. Obviously not. And I laugh every time that I'm like they the wit that they used in the book to, they didn't want it to be so serious.
00:51:56:28 - 00:52:04:13
Speaker 1
So as we kind of come to a close, which again, like, thank you again for sharing your time and your wisdom,
00:52:04:15 - 00:52:05:07
Speaker 2
All your knowledge.
00:52:05:14 - 00:52:22:18
Speaker 2
Well, but listen, guys, Rob, if you're listening or watching a spell unable to be Rob Lidcombe, jump on there. Have fun. Breath box studio this this one hour session. And I think it's like $35. They've got it as an intro.
00:52:22:25 - 00:52:26:20
Speaker 2
The $35 that you spend for an hour with this,
00:52:26:20 - 00:52:43:20
Speaker 2
breathwork therapy stuff that we have will change your life in one hour. And if it doesn't, I'll refund you the $35. This is what people say when they come off. Oh my God, what was that? I feel amazing, and what we say to them is no you don't.
00:52:43:23 - 00:53:02:05
Speaker 2
You feel normal. This is the way we're supposed to feel on daily basis. One of the reasons why we're not happy is lack of oxygen. When the body wakes up in the morning, lack of oxygen equals subconscious brain that guys ready to go. We have to change that by flooding our body with oxygen first thing in the morning and then rerouting morning work, right?
00:53:02:05 - 00:53:20:17
Speaker 2
If you brush it, hand with your right, left on the weight, right, you know, stuff like that. But, yeah. Reach out if you're undecided, if you're a businessman, if you're an entrepreneur, you need, this breath box studio. You need that because it will take your mind to a different level. It's not really got any to do with alcohol and drugs, to be honest.
00:53:20:19 - 00:53:35:24
Speaker 2
That's never mentioned. This is real, real range in the way you think. With all the subliminal messages your life will take up. I urge everybody for $35 to try it. I don't care where you are in the world, it's unbelievable and you have to try it.
00:53:35:24 - 00:53:40:12
Speaker 2
But yeah, I mean, just any socials doctor. Rob Kelly again with tubes.
00:53:40:14 - 00:53:48:18
Speaker 2
Come a friend is come and say hi. And on this podcast on this I have a book
00:53:49:17 - 00:53:50:12
Speaker 3
Oh.
00:53:50:12 - 00:53:51:20
Speaker 2
doctor said to me
00:53:51:20 - 00:54:02:24
Speaker 2
when the authorities took them off me. So that's me on a visit. Wasted many years after they got taken off me. Ages one and three. That's the girl in my Manchester office right now, Charlie.
00:54:02:26 - 00:54:20:18
Speaker 2
I've got ten copies to give away. If you go on, mention the show or contact me or Colin or Rachel, I'll sign it to you. You can have the book. Three free will pay for the shipping. Free, it'll be delivered to you within seven days. Have a nice read. On one condition. Pass it on to somebody else that you think.
00:54:20:18 - 00:54:34:13
Speaker 2
Well, by the way, don't put this on shelf. It's. No, it's not helping anybody on the shelf. Guys, we have not sold one copy of this. And after two years, I do not intend to sell one copy. This is not for money maker. This is a lifetime.
00:54:35:02 - 00:54:35:23
Speaker 3
That's awesome.
00:54:35:24 - 00:54:38:10
Speaker 1
That's amazing. And thank you so much for. Yeah,
00:54:38:10 - 00:54:59:28
Speaker 1
I'll read it, and I promise we'll pass it on. We'll make sure that it stays. Absolutely. I've, I have, and I always gave big books away for free at any time. Someone. So I would go buy one and give it to them and I and I always asked myself, and this would be a good comparison for the $35 class, is would I go get a drink for that?
00:54:59:28 - 00:55:08:00
Speaker 1
Would I pay a club entry fee if it were $35 to get into the club? And that's where I can drink? Would I pay it without question?
00:55:08:00 - 00:55:12:09
Speaker 2
Handle is $45 that we were without question.
00:55:12:09 - 00:55:25:29
Speaker 1
And if you can't put that commitment in that same way, it's like if I would do it for my recovery, why can't I do it? Or if I would do it for my alcoholism, why am I not putting equal, if not more, into my recovery?
00:55:26:03 - 00:55:27:05
Speaker 1
That's what excites me about you.
00:55:27:05 - 00:55:27:29
Speaker 2
Come here.
00:55:27:29 - 00:55:34:04
Speaker 2
We say to people I can't afford it. How much you spend alcohol? $100 a month. That's your fee.
00:55:34:12 - 00:55:35:10
Speaker 2
Yeah.
00:55:35:10 - 00:55:37:26
Speaker 2
When you come into our meeting room, he's got the meeting.
00:55:37:26 - 00:55:44:25
Speaker 2
You automatically wait, wait. There's a couple of wealthy guys, me and another guy. We bought hundreds of books. You got a big, brand new big book free.
00:55:45:02 - 00:56:04:12
Speaker 2
And you get a sponsor. And the guy or. Jenny, you're up to me. I'll sit with you, give you the big book as a present. Start working. You write that before the meeting starts. I mean, we have to give this stuff away, man. I mean, what use is it if we. If we keep. Hey, I mean, saving a life is one of the best things that a human being can do.
00:56:04:14 - 00:56:22:23
Speaker 2
Because I'll tell you this, guys, I believe in God. Jesus Christ is mentioned in the big book, page 11, second word. But I know when I get to the gates and walk in and stand before God, you know he's not going to ask me, guys, how much was a how she bought it was huge, man 40,000 square. What about that car?
00:56:22:28 - 00:56:39:18
Speaker 2
How much is a car comes from that money. Plus it's. Now it's going to ask me one thing. Hey, Rob, how many people did you work with? How many lives did you save by bringing them to me? And I want a big number. So when you out there today, guys, when you mixing with people, you never know what people are going through.
00:56:39:21 - 00:56:57:18
Speaker 2
So I finished with this beautiful story I tell when I'm doing my conferences. Can I close the Golden Gate Bridge? Was this how far kills himself? Commit suicide. The police pull him out of the water. They found his identification. They go back to his apartment. The lucky for the next of kin. What they find is a letter on the kitchen table and it read.
00:56:57:21 - 00:57:17:24
Speaker 2
I'm going to walk to the Golden Gate Bridge, which was an hour's walk. By the way. I'm going to throw myself off and commit suicide. I've had enough. Unless on the way there, somebody smiles at me, says, good morning, not at me. Anything like that communication. I'll stop right there. I'll turn back and I'll try again tomorrow. Question.
00:57:17:26 - 00:57:22:24
Speaker 2
How many people you walk past today? That's heading to the Golden Gate Bridge. Guys.
00:57:23:13 - 00:57:25:15
Speaker 2
No.
00:57:25:18 - 00:57:28:04
Speaker 3
Yeah.
00:57:28:10 - 00:57:44:17
Speaker 1
And I. That's. Hey. And ask yourself. And then, you know, what you can do is you don't have to sit here and think. Well, I'll try tomorrow. Just whoever you see today, just for the rest of the day. Your next time out, do it. It's it's never too late to.
00:57:44:20 - 00:57:46:16
Speaker 2
Even just holding the door out
00:57:46:16 - 00:57:47:04
Speaker 2
for someone.
00:57:47:04 - 00:58:04:01
Speaker 1
That was the lie I told myself is every time I tried, it was. Oh, well, it would. I'll start next Monday or next first month. Next third. There was always these conditions, and if I've learned one thing in recovery, it's do it. Just do it. Just do it now. There's no time.
00:58:04:01 - 00:58:04:28
Speaker 2
Like start now,
00:58:04:28 - 00:58:07:03
Speaker 2
We don't have time. Everyone thinks I got time. That
00:58:07:03 - 00:58:20:23
Speaker 2
how many times you want your kids off to kindergarten? Next minute I'm off after college. We don't have time. We recess to 7.3. Second rule that we have in this company. And that is if I sat on the couch tonight. They've got a big bag of chips, which I don't eat and a big bag.
00:58:20:26 - 00:58:33:08
Speaker 2
I don't drink neither, but let's say I am. And all of a sudden I watch. Somebody on TV is pretty in good shape, and I turn to my wife and go, hey, I'm thinking of going to the gym tomorrow. She she knows I'm not going to go. I know she knows. The dogs know even the cats walking past grandma.
00:58:33:10 - 00:58:51:26
Speaker 2
I don't think so in a 7.3 second time frame, if I get up, go to the bedroom, put my sneakers into my shorts, put it near the door and I'm going to walk out, there's a good chance of me doing it. So 7.3 seconds is the time for neural pathways to split, right? They're going to romance. The bad idea on the follow to the good idea.
00:58:51:29 - 00:59:02:29
Speaker 2
That's the time frame. If you don't do it, that the bad idea. Once you start romancing the idea of of of relapse, not all bets are off.
00:59:02:29 - 00:59:20:27
Speaker 1
very well set. And it's also like. I, Like we've both said it's already in the big book. And something in chapter three. More about alcoholism. People miss all the time, and it makes me mad. And I'm like, guys, we literally like Bill and Bob literally wrote about it. Like, they gave four frickin examples. Thank you for examples.
00:59:20:27 - 00:59:34:27
Speaker 1
so as someone who's studied the big book to another I it's very it's nice because I think it gets overlooked so much more. If that's there's my one piece I wish, I wish people will just read the actual big book more.
00:59:34:27 - 00:59:36:09
Speaker 1
literal pages.
00:59:36:09 - 00:59:36:26
Speaker 2
goes.
00:59:36:26 - 00:59:37:17
Speaker 2
Rachel.
00:59:37:17 - 00:59:53:06
Speaker 2
Every time I'm going to leave school. High school. They should get a copy of the Big book to read. It should be mandatory, because the way it tells us to live our lives is phenomenal. Man has come back. We dress accordingly, we act accordingly, we speak accordingly. They should be given that book. Alcoholic.
00:59:53:08 - 01:00:01:25
Speaker 2
I've checked people through that book that has no problems. Alcohol and drugs, I just depressed. I can't get on with life. It's. Yeah, I can't say no from a a. It's a
01:00:02:02 - 01:00:15:22
Speaker 1
just the first 164. I'm not asking for you to read the whole stories in the back. I just want 164 pages. It's a fairly easy read. It's. I mean, there are big words, but like, we all have phones, you can look them up or like, I mean, he does enough that you can
01:00:15:22 - 01:00:17:13
Speaker 1
inference on what the word means.
01:00:17:16 - 01:00:40:03
Speaker 2
Look at the word vital. Just real quick. It's vital that you find a power. Capital P greater is fine. What is it? By flow means. Well, guys, have you ever seen a hospital program to check his vital signs? Vital means in the Oxford English necessary to life. So let me rephrase that. It's necessary to life that you find a power capital P the 3000.
01:00:40:03 - 01:00:55:14
Speaker 2
Just pick one if you want to find a cover. That's just one little world. I thought I knew what he meant, but no. When you say necessary to life, things become real or people are not reading it like that. So take a leaf guys. By the book I. I've never read a story in my life. I tell my stories.
01:00:55:15 - 01:01:12:04
Speaker 2
I just got to my first one six. Find a leather cover that's been around for 40 years. But yeah, it'll take you to a different a different direction, guys. And, if you want even more, the only thing I say is the breath box, not me. I don't need anybody. I don't need any money. Anything. The breath box, man for $35.
01:01:12:07 - 01:01:15:27
Speaker 2
Change of frickin life. I'm telling you. Otherwise I'll refund.
01:01:15:27 - 01:01:19:16
Speaker 1
thank you so much for coming on. So we're back, sir. Thank you again.
01:01:19:20 - 01:01:19:22
Speaker 2
For.
01:01:19:25 - 01:01:27:14
Speaker 1
Answering them, sharing your wealth and knowledge. I love it and I am excited to see who I'm going to put that as a social whoever gets the ten books
01:01:27:14 - 01:01:30:28
Speaker 2
if you've got a message, just put your full name, your full address and phone number.
01:01:30:28 - 01:01:36:16
Speaker 2
And I will guarantee that that'll be in the mail the very next morning. I'll be on the way to you.
01:01:36:16 - 01:01:45:03
Speaker 1
Courtney has been amazing. You have been amazing. And just contacting and reaching out. And again, thank you for your time and thank you to anyone listening on Sober Bouncer.
01:01:45:03 - 01:02:02:22
Speaker 2
And listen to this, guys. I'm telling you now, you you guys are awesome. And I'm so happy to be on here today. But I'm going to reinforce for the guys that may have not heard, this is we don't we turn out podcasts all the time and it's currently goes out and she and she calls me goes, hey because I do like three of these a day.
01:02:02:25 - 01:02:04:10
Speaker 2
Hey, listen, I found these guys,
01:02:04:10 - 01:02:20:03
Speaker 2
and they're changing the world, man. You need to be part of it. And then we humbly ask if I can come on your podcast. The most people don't know who I am, which is even cooler. But. Yeah, man, she saw something in you that's changing the world. So thank you for what you guys do with the millions of lives that you've saved with that ripple effect.
01:02:20:03 - 01:02:30:21
Speaker 2
We love. And thank you for just being here today. Thank you for allowing me on, man. And if there's anything I can do for you guys going forward, just let Courtney know. If we can do it. We'll do it.
01:02:30:21 - 01:02:42:26
Speaker 1
we're just doing what someone else helped us do. And it's just like, we're just trying to pay it forward, and we just want to show that it's not. We don't. And Bill says it, too. You know, we are. We are the bright spots in the community now.
01:02:42:26 - 01:02:51:03
Speaker 1
We we don't we're not a glum lot. We don't just sit here and that's what we're trying to do. So again, thank you. And thank you for listening. So we're banter
